Foundation Elements

Still not in a writing mood

2007-10-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is, a couple of weeks later, and I really have nothing to say. I did some training at work, life is quite mundane lately. Actually kind of nice.

It's been a while...

2007-09-24T20:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm all moved into the new house. Moved in on Friday the 13th of April.

Lot's of stuff has happened between then and now. I've been absolutely overwhelmed at work, dated a new woman, broke up with said woman and become lost and confused all over again.

I'll try to keep up better than this, but I'm really not thinking about much lately, mostly going through the motions. I'm kind of hoping that getting back into this and communicating with some old/new friends will snap me back into reality...wish me luck. It has little to do with the woman, but more along the lines of I'm really, really tired. Wore out. I need a rest. I need to not be here - missing the Vegas trip with D really messed me up I think. That extended weekend is something I need on occasion - 3 to 5 days of drinking too much, looking at the "plastic" ladies walking around, gambling, and not getting anywhere near enough sleep.

I'm glad that there is another couple of vacations coming up soon - an annual retreat with friends in October and the annual hunting trip in November...I need to be not at work for a while.

Take care and I'll see you around.

?Super? Super Bowl?

2007-02-04T20:39:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, I just finished watching the Super Bowl about an hour and a half ago.

While I am very happy that the Colts won, I am a bit torn about the game itself.

If you watched, you will find that it may have been the most lopsided Super Bowl in many a year. While the score looked close, the Colts basically kicked the holy crap out of the Bears. It was ugly.

Now, why was I rooting for the Colts, since I'm a Packers fan? Well, one, Tony Dungy. I lived in Indy for a few years during the start of the Tony Dungy era at Indianapolis. He is truly a man who understands what football is: a game. And on top of that, he is a gentlemen. While I think it's cool that he is the first black head coach to win the Super Bowl, I think it's even cooler that he says "I wasn't the first that had the talent to do it." He's humble and just an all around good guy. He's someone I would like to have as a coach, I think. And not just for that silly game the grown up boys play.

Two, Peyton Manning. Seriously, it's hard to find fault in the football player named Peyton. I'm sure there are faults in the human named Peyton, but as a football player, he's someone that you'd like all quarterbacks to emulate.

Three, Marvin Harrison. There's little known about this guy, because he's just not good in front of a microphone, so he typically pays the NFL imposed fines and turns down interviews. One of his comments on media day was "It's all the eyes that bother me." If that ain't me, I don't know what is...it's cool that someone who has that kind of talent overcomes those horrible feelings and still goes in front of "all the eyes" and shares said talent every week during the football season.

Four, all the other "good guys" on the Colts roster. You don't have a good team that has a cancer in the locker room (I can only think of the Terrell Owens - he's a great receiver, but I think he drags his teams down with his idiocy in the locker room and other places off the field). And they haven't shown that kind of crack in the veneer, so good for all of them, from the "lowly" janitors and receptionists to Ted Marchibroda.

Anyway, here's to the Indianapolis Colts and their wonderful season.

PS Thanks for beating up on the Bears for us Packer fans! :)

Comment on the weather

2007-02-03T17:22:00.000-08:00

Okay, folks who live south of here...it's f*cking cold up here!

Predicted highs for tomorrow? Zero degrees Fahrenheit. Yep, that's 17.8 degrees BELOW zero Celsius, and a very cold 255.4 degrees Kelvin. Tonight's low is predicted for -13 degrees Fahrenheit - good Lord that's cold!

Basically, I have a fairly simple scale:

85 degrees or hotter - f*cking hot OR the air conditioning is quite comfy, I believe I'll stay inside today

55 - 85 degrees - comfortable and livable

15 - 55 degrees - probably want to wear some level of a jacket

15 degrees and below - f*cking cold OR kiss my ass, I'm not going out there! OR please start the fire, thank you very much!

So I'll be staying inside for the next week or so. Venturing out only when starvation is an issue (I'm pretty chunky, I could miss a meal without too much draw down on my reserves :) ) and only when I have to go to/from work (can't buy heat without some cashola). And the gas fire is roaring in the corner right now - only thing I'll miss in my new house come April...

Weather report says a heat wave is coming next weekend (20 degrees for a high on Friday and 23 by Sunday). Rest of the week is predicted at 15 or lower for HIGH temperatures.

Sonovabitch!!!

A question of respect...

2007-02-02T19:16:00.000-08:00

I was in St. Louis all week this week. I stayed in a hotel with one of those hot continental breakfasts (actual hot eggs, sausages, gravy, biscuits, french toast, plus all the yogurt, donuts, etc that all the old continental breakfasts seemed to have). Bland, but you could fill up on something hot and tasteless to get through the morning.

Well, I was struck by something this morning. The cook, who happened to be this older lady that looked like life had been a bit rough on, was cooking and smiling at all of us as we went through the line and saying "good morning". I was shocked when I noticed that I was the only one who seemed to be responding back to her. In fact, one "gentleman" basically just gave her a big old frown, as if to say "Why are you speaking to me? You aren't worth a response."

Have we slid so far in American society that all people who are "below" our standard of living no longer exist? WTF? I was insulted for her - I don't think she was bothered by it, but I was. I mean, where does this line of non-existence fall? Is it because she had dentures (it was pretty obvious, and she was only a few years older than me, maybe mid 40's)? Is it because she was our "servant"? Is that what we are going back to, a feudal view of the other people we live with, depending upon what they do, how much money they have actually sets their value as a human being?

If so, I really think we, as Americans (and for that matter, HUMANS), are on a very, very wrong path...

I wish they would stop doing that...

2007-01-30T18:51:00.000-08:00

I again must make a statement about people writing my thoughts. Most specifically, the same gosh darn friend did it to me again.

They posted a couple of days ago about webs. About how they used to feel that needing people was a weakness.

Damn it, knock it off! Getting continually kicked in the head get's a bit frustrating, even though it's probably a very good way to get my attention.

I'm still in the process of realization here, that there is more to this life than my "simplification" plan (I have been on a binge of simplification these last few years - if you make your life small enough, it is much simpler). Well, having it be so freaking simple is a blessing and a curse. Simple means more "me" time. Simple also means more "me" time...get the problem? I need to find my balance point, my center, and I don't believe that anyone's center truly lands inside of them, it's a fulcrum outside of you, that helps you to balance the you with the rest of the world. In a see saw battle, mine is still placed far from me and the lever arm on my side is VERY long (the "me" is still easily the most important), but I'm working on it.

Maybe some of my few friend's wisdom will finally rub off on me...and maybe one day, I'll get to understanding my life better than I do now.

The date is set...

2007-01-26T18:13:00.000-08:00

Today, I went and talked with the financial people.

I will be closing on my new home on April 11, 2007.

I am planning on an April 13 move date, but am a touch superstitious at this point and maybe a 16th move date might work better with my weird avoidance bone.

Super cool! I think a house warming party will have to be held off until at least May, just to give me a chance to kind of get settled in, so on, so forth.

Home, anyone?

2007-01-24T16:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I've done it (mostly). I made an offer to buy a home on Monday. Word came back today "Yes, we accept your offer. It is dependent upon you getting financing, so get to it, but yes, we will allow you to purchase this house for the price we agreed to."

Excited, scared, lost, found, all balled up into one knot right at the pit of my stomach. I don't have time to vomit right now, so I'll save it for later, maybe after I sign my mortgage...

Friday I go to talk with a couple of bankers - one from the place I'm buying the house from and another fairly well known bank (symbol: Stagecoach). With the offer being made by the company I'm buying the house from, I'll most likely borrow from them (let's see here - they'll buy 3/4 of a point for me and they are handing me $2000 to take care of my lease - by the end of the 30 year mortgage, that will equate to about $34000 plus interest on the savings of $80-90 per month on the loan --pretty hard to argue with that kind of financing).

When all goes well (yes, I have done enough research to say that I am probably one of the better prepared customers for a new house out there), I will close on the house in early April...so for those few readers I have, I expect to have some close friends and family over sometime in late April for a little house warming get together (yes, I am inviting you to my humble abode, something I don't do often).

Holy SH*T, BATMAN!

2007-01-21T20:05:00.000-08:00

I'm scared absolutely shitless about now.

Here it is, January, 2007. And me, little old Zeke, is going to make an offer to purchase a home...WTF am I doing!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

And I haven't even actually signed a contract yet...HOLY SHIT! How the fuck am I going to react when the time comes for that? Hell, I can barely sleep now, how am going to sleep then?

I've avoided any serious commitments for a long, long time. Because mostly, they've just let me down. Now I'm talking about locking up a large portion of my income into a home for the next 30 years (and from what I can tell, the rest of my life!).

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Totally freaking out right now!!!!!

Must try to sleep (first, BREATHE!!!!, then RELAX!!!!, then slllleeeeeepppppp....zzzzzz).

Maybe I'll get lucky and somebody else will have already offered on it and I won't have to go through with it (even though I really, really want it - OMG it's like LOVE!!!! HA HA!!!).

A revelation today

2007-01-19T19:26:00.000-08:00

I was reading a friend's blog today. I have always enjoyed their blog. Many days it brings me a smile, sometimes almost makes me cry (actually has made me cry), and most definitely has made my blood boil (not in anger at the person writing, but the things they have pointed out).

Today, their blog was about their morning prayers. It was like a boot to the chest (again, actually). How can this person write my words like that? I don't mean to say that those are my actual words, but those are how I feel often times, especially in a group of people (especially the part about the heart beating like me, like me, like me, like me).I think that may be why I enjoy their blog so much, they write what I feel sometimes, and that feels good that the words that I'm feeling are written somewhere.

Is this why I like to read blogs? Maybe, I don't know. I think it does me a lot of good to know that I'm not really as alone as I think I am some days. It helps that someone out there is similar enough to me, yet unselfish enough to put their feelings out there for the world to see.

Thanks people, it means more than I'll ever say to you in person.

A gift...

2006-12-20T16:42:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I gave blood. I don't know if I've said this on this blog before, but I'll probably say it again: If you are healthy and capable, please give. It doesn't take any time really (1 hour every 2 months), and it is such a small thing that could turn out huge.

Anyway, I got a great gift back. About 15 minutes talking with the nice lady volunteer at the blood bank. Her name is Rose Marie, which just happens to be my mother's name (well, to other people, she's still Mom to me! :) ). She's 78 years old and has lived a wonderful life. I won't give all the details here, but it was amazing to just get and sit with someone and talk about "stuff" - nothing substantial, like at work, just life.

Thank you, Rose Marie, for a wonderful 15 minutes.

On my way...

2006-12-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

Offered up my resignation today at work...it went much better than expected.

I feel a little bad. I didn't really give this place much of a chance (3 months), but I figured I had to take the chance on the new job.

I feel a little more bad. I didn't know that I wasn't the only one quitting my job today. One of the other engineers is quitting on the same day as me...he's moving down to peninsula land to chase his girlfriend/fiance. So they are losing 2 engineers out of 3 in our department. All while we were all busy as heck...they might be in a spot for a while, but they'll pull through.

Home buying...

2006-12-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here looking at the finances this morning. I've stumbled onto something that I never really thought might be possible. I might actually be able to purchase a house this time when I move.

Now, the problem is, how in the heck do you buy a house? It sounds like such a simple thing: I'd like to buy a house. However, everyone I talk with (out in the REAL world, like brothers, sisters, parents, etc) treats it like some "OMG that is so hard" type of thing.

I've found a couple of spots that give simple step by step things that I'm starting to read. I honestly don't think it's going to be that difficult. It looks like the actual process is a fairly straight forward, "do this, then do this, then do this, then do this...done, here's the keys!". I think the biggest question mark for me is this - DO I REALLY WANT A HOUSE?

Pros of owning a house:

1. It's yours. No, REALLY, it's yours. Want a different color in the living room? Paint it. Want to remove that non load bearing wall? Here's a sledge hammer.
2. Equity, you are building equity for the long haul.
3. Your "rent" payments don't go up anymore (really, if you think about it, in the long run we are really all just "renting" space here). And at some point, the big part of the rent payment goes away (i.e. principal and interest payments will go away, taxes and maintenance never do). I personally think this one is the biggie for your's truly.
4. Not having to move once it's all paid off...priceless.

Cons of owning a house:

1. It's yours. NO, REALLY, IT'S YOURS. Lawn needs mowing, sidewalk and driveway need shoveling. Furnace went out? Buy a new one (they don't come cheap). What about the washer and dryer? Or the stove, or the fridge or the ... you get my point.
2. It really isn't that good an investment. Tax break my ass. Think about it, you will only get the tax break on the interest and property taxes that are above and beyond the standard deduction of $5000 this year (that is from memory, it might be off, and it's only for a single person like me). And, it's a whole $0.27 back for every dollar you ALREADY SPENT!!!! Listen, anytime you want to give me a dollar and I only have to give you $0.27 back, you let me know. I'll take that investment. And the equity? Well, at the typical 3-6% annual increase, at some point, it WILL be a good thing, but the stock market is closer to 8-10%...not sure owning a home is better...
3. Same old boring house to come home to each and everyday. 'nuff said.

I think the pros and cons basically balance themselves out, at least in my situation. So I think I'm going to go for it there too. Boy, does 2007 look kind of hairy for me.

Wow, moving again so soon?

2006-12-07T17:29:00.000-08:00

Okay.

I've fallen prey to what I call the "Restless Syndrome". Only this time I got restless really fast.

I am changing jobs again. And moving again. BACK to Madtown with you, the universe says, back I say!!! I'm not sure I'll ever get away, and sometimes I wonder if I really want to...it's a pretty darn cool town.

I'm kind of screwed on my lease, but that's how things go. I'll probably have to drive down on Mondays, work the normal hours and stay at my 'rent's house during the week, then drive back up on Fridays. So I probably won't be wanting to stay anywhere but home most weekends.

I don't know how my current boss will react, but I'm sure it will not be good. But life is life. They may ask me not to stay any more, I don't know. They may just be really, really pissy and make the last 2 weeks hell, I don't know.

I'm rolling the dice and seeing what comes up. Five years from now, I may look back and say "Holy shit, was that stupid!" Or, I may look back and say "Geez, it's been a great 5 years here at ......." But I feel I have to try to see what I can make of it.

Election results in WI

2006-11-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

Well, there's a little good news, but not much here in WI.

Good news - Kagen (Dem) got in.

Bad news - Doyle (Dem) is still governor (not a good thing, not that Green was a prize either)

Bad news - Kohl (Dem) is still senator - if he actually ever really did something, I might view this as good news

Really bad news - WI's constitution now has an "anti-gay marriage" amendment, that could be easily twisted to basically screw anyone who isn't married (i.e. hetero or homo - glad to see we have trouble reading and interpreting in this state).

Now, for a little bit of light on the subject of Washington politics, from my friends at Over the Hedge (no really, you should read them a lot if you can):

Back story is that Hammy was elected Senator by someone (i.e. Verne and RJ) hacking into the voting system and giving him 8000000 votes.

The day after...

2006-10-17T17:13:00.000-07:00

Well, after passing out last night to complete mental, emotional and physical exhaustion, I woke this morning feeling rather chipper.

I did go to work with a tad bit of apprehension, that someone may ask just the right question to get me thinking about Grandma and my mom again. I figured that would lead me to crying a bit and just feeling a little ugly. But instead, it started with some laughter - two of the guys are like my parents, completely orphaned now (as they put it) and they know of the difficulties of it. They were super cool to me, and I will probably never be able to express my gratitude to them for that. It let me get back into the work groove before the knucklehead questions came (let me see, I still think the best is Q:"So, how are you feeling?" A:"Well, like one of the most important people of my formative years will never give me advice again. Like she'll never be there to change the dressings on my wounds again. Like she'll never make me an amazing meal again. I'm feeling pretty shitty, thanks for asking." - I promise that I will do my damndest to never, ever ask that specific question of anyone who has just lost someone again, DUH).

Speaking of being supercool, C and C both called in the last day. C didn't get me last night, because, well, I passed out after writing my blog entry from yesterday. C got me today, and let me tell you, I have been blessed over and over with friends, but only so few would sit and listen to me blather for a long time like that.

Thank you, to both of you. I'm going to need more help, but it feels wonderful to know that my asking for help will get me some help (does that sentence make sense?).

Grandma is resting now...

2006-10-16T16:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, was this a tough day. My grandmother was laid to rest today.

It was one of those things. I really always felt that we were, well, distant from each other. But there she was, gone. And I started crying. I was struggling with never seeing her shoulders shake with laughter again. Or wave her finger at me when I got her with a zinger (we don't "spare the whip" in our family when it comes to giving gentle - and sometimes really harsh - zingers) - followed by a good laugh. Or tell me again about what it was like during the Great Depression - or WWII. Or just tell me what she had seen in her lifetime. She had that wisdom (raising 14 kids will either make you crazy or teach you a whole lot of stuff about life the universe and everything, and I don't think she was completely nuts).

And then I got under control, we did the whole Mass and procession back out of the church. Mom followed Grandma (I was a pallbearer, so I was ahead of her). We had stopped and moved Grandma off to the side so folks could pass by, say their condolences, etc. Mom had this confused/crying look on her face. I caught her eye and she just made a beeline for a hug. And she cried harder in my arms. And I cried again...I don't remember a feeling so helpless, but looking at my mom and wanting to just make her feel better, but there was little I could do but stand there and hug her (pardon the spelling errors here, I'm crying as I type this and struggling with blurring). Words - in this case - only feel (and sound) completely hollow, making my whole head hurt. How can I help her heal? I guess just be there for the hugs she'll need, listen to her.

It was stunning. I was standing there, looking around the entry to the church. All of my living aunts and uncles made it, from Germany even. And do you know what the absolute hardest part of this whole thing was for me? Looking at all of these people in my parents generation and watching them cry. I know this might sound like an overstatement, but these people were invincible when I was growing up. Even now, I'm smaller than all but one of the men that are my mother's brothers. And these women were the "tough love" givers when all of us cousins got together at my grandparents house. But these people didn't cry, it just didn't happen, EVER! I don't know if it was the competition between siblings for the little bit of love my Grandpa could give or what, but they just DID NOT CRY! And there were my aunt's. uncle's, and Mom boo hooing like I do when I'm hurt. This was very confusing to me...kind of turned my world backward...THEY are supposed to help ME (or my cousin's) when I'm hurt, not the other way around. I sure hope I'm up to the task of helping Mom...I can tell she's needing it more with Grandma - they were really tight.

(and my customary selfish note)

Seeing this, I so want to go and grab the hands of time and stop them. So I never have to feel that way...horribly selfish, I know, but I don't ever remember being this scared about it.

Grandma

2006-10-13T05:04:00.000-07:00

Grandma passed on this morning, just after midnite.

I am honored - I will be a pallbearer, along with my brother and a few cousins. She carried me around when I was little, now I get to help carry her to her final resting spot.

Mom's doing better than I thought she would be this morning, but I still might take a ride down to see her tomorrow. I think she's all cried out-not that she doesn't need to cry and grieve more, but more she's dehydrated as she's dropped a lot of tears already this week. I think her crying bone might be all wore out for a while.

This will sound bad, but I'm glad Dad had already been through this (he lost his parents almost 40 years ago). I don't have a clue what it would be like to lose a parent, so I don't know how bad it hurts, or how scary it is (I gotta believe it's scary as all hell - you're on your own now, live without a net). He does and I hope he can help her through this - she lost her dad a while back, but she was much closer to her mom.

Today's conversations and research....

2006-10-07T18:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, today I was challenged by some friends to support the group fighting the Wisconsin "Gay Marriage" Amendment.

Here are some comments/random findings as I researched this subject further. I always do this on a subject that I am unsure of, mostly due to the fact I had not fully researched and learned about it completely. I will say, I still have not researched it enough for me to be an "expert" on this amendment, but I know what my heart tells me - this amendment is a bad, bad idea. From the research and comments I have read, I see this thing being used one way or another to persecute someone for being different. In my simple terms, this is bad. VERY bad. I know that my vote will be against it. And when discussed, I will argue against it.

Not just because of the anti-gay portion of it. Heck, in Wisconsin same-sex marriage is already illegal. I figure that with time, minds will be changed through education and enough people will come to understand that the gays and lesbians are just as human as the straights and this law will be repealed/changed.

No, the more important part is for myself - yep, I'm being selfish again (stunning, right? :) ). The part of this amendment that bothers me is the part that MIGHT have an effect on me in the future. The second part of the amendment basically says that civil unions are not okay...this seems very weird to me. I am a cynic about marriage. I look at it as a horrible idea. Basically, it is a contract that is based completely on emotion and lust (yes, a good marriage actually has more to it than that, but a lot of marriages are not good marriages). Not a good mix in my opinion. This amendment would force me to get married to protect my female partner (or vice versa, if that's how we decided to do things) with employer sponsored health insurance, etc (just one example of something like 200 rights that would be lost). And I honestly feel that that is the government meddling in my life a step way too far.

And finally a representative that says something I believe to the core of my being (and a Republican that makes me proud to say I'm more Republican than Democrat - the first in a long time...and one of the few comments that give me a glimmer of hope for the two party system we have...he uses an intelligent argument to make his vote, not his party line):

(From a story from the Wisconsin State Journal)

Rep. Gregg Underheim of Oshkosh, the lone Republican to vote against the amendment, told his colleagues they were crossing a line with their action.
"Constitutions were written to protect people who were different. Gay people are different and constitutions ought not treat them differently," he said. "What we are doing today is wrong."

EDIT: I disagree with some of his comment - Gays are different in only one aspect of their lives, who they happen to share their bed with. But they are not different in the fact that they are human beings.

Now I do have a comment about some of the comments I saw on some of the websites/blogs that I hit. It kind of makes me laugh, due to the underlying tone of the comments. The underlying tone basically makes the assumption that homosexuals will be better at this marriage thing than heterosexuals are. I guess the cynic in me says that is BULLSHIT! The only advantage for the gays and lesbians that I can see is that that the old adage "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" will not be as evident in their marriages. Just as one example, while I do not know the current status of their marriage, the first lesbian couple to get married in Massachusetts was seperated for at least a time (makes the cynic in me just say "HA! See? Marriage is stupid!").

Goes back to my original argument - homosexuals are just as human as heterosexuals...and deserve the same rights and privileges that I have as a heterosexual. If you are reading this as a human being in Wisconsin or any of the other states where this is being put up for state constitutional amendments, vote NO to the ban...it's just flat out wrong.

Love life

2006-10-04T16:59:00.000-07:00

Since there have been questions, I must at least report.

As usual, this portion of my life is non-existent.

I have been emailing back and forth with the previous employer's administrative assistant. That does not look like fortune will smile upon me. As some of you know, she was living with her ex all summer, and as all of us who have ever seen a situation like that, she was back with her ex by the end of summer. She gave him the "ultimatum" that she has given in the past and they are split again. Let's just say, that's one f'd up situation that I'm not sure I want any part of.

I am supposed to be emailing another friends niece. I'm sending said email tonight. We'll see where that leads.

One of the front office ladies at the new job seems to always want me to go out. Not like in a harassing way, but just in the friendly "hey, check out this bar" or "hey, Oktoberfest is this weekend and this band is playing" kind of way.

So, as it is, love life is non-existent. At least that's what I'm used to after being single after all these years.

(Sorry, this is way off-topic, but I've got my music collection going behind me and it is still weird to hear Motorhead do Metallica's "Enter Sandman", no matter how many times I've heard it)

I'm (mostly) done unpacking...

2006-09-25T17:13:00.000-07:00

These first three are what you would see when you walk in the front door. Here's my beer mirrors. Anybody else remember the Hamm's beer commercials growing up?

You probably can't see my prints very well, but the one on the dining room wall on the right in the first photo is one of 2 rooster and one hen pheasant taking off in an Amish/Mennonite field (not too many people stack hay like that anymore, so the Amish/Mennonite comment is a generalization).

The other print is above my couch and is of a large buck (10 pointer, really nice heavy tines and very wide) and 3 does that he is wondering about.

This next one is what it looks like walking into my kitchen from my garage. Very small kitchen, that's the living room kind of left and straight through.

Here's the living room - fireplace and my little tv.

From my living room back into my kitchen and dining room (my new dining room table, well, not new but new to me, well, hand me down to me! :) )

And, if you can see it, there is the berm outside my back windows. Just over that berm is the railroad track. Motherf-ing conductor just blew his horn for the last 1/2 mile! Need to put my skin back on.

Anyhow, that's the new place! Those who know me, you're welcome anytime, just try to give me a day's notice. I don't have a second bed, but I do have an air mattress and a couch.

Oh, the bedrooms and bathroom I did not include pictures of because, well, they are a typical bachelor pad. 2nd bedroom - filled with bookcases and books and games. Master bedroom - a bed and a dresser (yes, there is plenty of room in there for the right woman...anyone? Bueller? Bueller? anyone? anyone? :) ). And the bathroom is actually good sized - has the laundry in it too.

I thought this was cool...

2006-09-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

This happened last February, no the pictures are not doctored. Even though it's old news, it's the kind of news that interests me. See, we really do engineer bridges for safety!!!

An Engineer's Story Problem

A Backhoe weighing 8 tons is on top of a flatbed trailer and heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas. The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1 ½ inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing.

Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half? (Assume no effect for headwind and no braking by the driver...)

Extra Credit: Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above. Yes, you can neglect friction...

Demonstrative Solution: (Doesn't look as though he could get up enough speed to make it all the way...)

1st week on the new job...

2006-09-15T15:39:00.000-07:00

was an absolute joy!

Now, many of you will probably think to yourself "hmm, sounds really, really boring", but to me, this stuff is awesome.

I spent my first week almost completely immersed in a project. I did ring wall foundation calculations for an ethanol plant (if you don't know what a ring wall is, think of the ring on your hand, and think of a 10 foot tall wall shaped like said ring buried in the ground to carry a round tank).

Most foundation calculations are really pretty easy, and these are no exception (although I hadn't dealt with hoop stresses in a while and had to do a little refreshing from my basic mechanics book :) ). And, I can see myself being very tired of doing these calculations in a couple few months (they will be nearly identical on every job we do, but they have to be done on nearly every job we do). But they are new to me right now, therefore, fun. And honestly, for me, let me sink into a couple of equations and figure how loads are getting to ground, and I'm gonna be happy. Seriously, folks, I can't think of anything better to do on a work day.

And, the really huge thing, the guys who hired me did exactly what they said they were going to do: "We're buried in work. We need help. You'll start your first project the day you show up." How amazingly refreshing - a boss who's honest (my new boss also said "These will probably get a little tedious after a while, but they have to be done." when he gave me the ring wall foundations to design :) ).

And another hidden plus - you are typically paid a bonus based on the work you do. Well, the part of the company I am working in is the biggest money maker in the company - YAY!!!

I'm so tired from the move, new job excitement, restarting working out, etc. But I'm so excited I can hardly wait for Monday to get here!

Discussions from the early morn'

2006-09-09T14:59:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I've been working overnights for the last 3 weeks. And REALLY long hours (I logged 222.5 hours over the last 3 weeks - that covers 15 actual days of work).

Mental notes about working such hours (both the number and the actual timing) when you aren't used to them:

1. People that are "day" people get really weird come 3 am.
2. People who are "nice" people typically - can get really mean sometimes at 3 am.
3. People can work 15 hours a day for an incredibly short period of time before they become really cranky all the time and take it out on anyone within earshot. (I apologize to anyone I might have blasted in the last 2 weeks)
4. People who are super close to their children should not take jobs that might keep them away from their kids for more than a day or two.
5. I didn't like fast food before - and after the last 3 weeks, if I ever eat at Taco Bell, McDonald's, Arby's or Wendy's again, it will be too soon. They were the only places you could get a quick and hot meal at 2 in the morning.
6. My eyes actually do turn black when I get really tired - I don't really ever remember that happening before - I look like I got in a fight right now.
7. This is a guess, but I bet that my body is typically in deep REM sleep from about 2:30 am to 3:00 am and from 4:00 am to 4:30 am during my normal sleep patterns. I say this because those two half hours, no matter how much sleep I got during the day before, were darn near impossible to stay awake. I'll admit that I napped at least 3 times during the 4 to 4:30 hour during my 3 weeks doing those hours.
8. Cell phones have off buttons, USE THEM!!! We don't need to be connected continuously to the rest of the world...really, none of us are that important. Plus, people who aren't on your sleep schedule tend to call you at 8 am... :)

Is this the beginning of a GREAT trend?

2006-09-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

Oh, please, please, please, say that it might be - I have 9 "nieces" and I always worry about what our society's view on weight and good looks might convince them to try to be. Maybe more people and places will jump on this band wagon - we can only hope (and I guess try to educate our family and friends as best we can).

Yes, this is an incredibly small step, but I feel like it's at least in the right direction.

Spanish models rejected for being too thin

My new home

2006-09-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

I am in my new home in Appleton.

It's pretty cool. There are always some downsides, but this one has very few.

1. The trains - well, with the windows closed in the apartment, it really isn't that bad. You can hear the whistle pretty loud, but if you are a fairly heavy sleeper like me, you kind of wake up and do the "wha? huh? oh, tra-snore" routine when it goes by. Windows open, totally different story. I damn near jumped out of my skin when one went by today.

2. Dirty - unfortunately, I think this apartment has been vacant for a while (probably 1. above). So it has basically collected dust and grime for the last few months. All of the vinyl floors and countertops need to be re-cleaned, and I don't think the carpet has ever been cleaned (it's filthy - I like to go barefoot, and, well, the bottoms of my feet have been black the last couple of days). I have my parents carpet steamer, so I've been cleaning rooms as they get cleared of stuff.

Outside of those, everything is good. The building is very new (something like 2 years old), so all of the appliances are new and work well. The walls don't have the typical scars in them yet. It has to be the nicest place I've ever lived in outside of my parent's homes.

It feels like it is going to take me a year just to un-pack. Between working all the time this week and being gassed when I'm not working, well, it is very depressing looking at the pile of stuff that is still in boxes. Oh, well, it'll get there - I have the vitals done. I can sleep (bedroom is basically unpacked), I can safely and cleanly do the other of the 3 s's in the morning (bathroom is basically unpacked). And I can eat (outside of non-essential utensils, such as deep fryer, etc - kitchen is unpacked).

When I get done, maybe I'll post some photos for laughs - I'm a stereotypical bachelor when it comes to decorating a home - incredibly spartan, and yet cluttered (no "trinkets and junk/knick knacks and crap", just lots of stuff scattered about).

Moving on up...

2006-09-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, I move. Thanks to an insane effort from my parents, my sister and her boyfriend, I did very little to get ready and they took the ball and ran with it.

I moved my TV today. Yes, you read that right, I moved my TV. That's all I moved. The folks I listed above moved all of the rest of my shit into a trailer that my dad will be towing on his truck tomorrow (his truck is more suited to towing than mine). The TV does weigh approximately 175 pounds and is incredibly top heavy making it a pain to move, but that is such a small portion of my shit...well, I was stunned.

Of course, it will be a little bit like Christmas getting unpacked - HMMM, What's in this box? Oh, look, my DVD's! Yay!

I am a very lucky person to have folks like that in my life that are willing to help me so much. Again, I must say that I am truly blessed with friends and family in this world.

I will only have dial up at work for the next few days, so those of you that email me on occasion, try to avoid the large files and such as I will not be able to open them until Wednesday at the earliest. I believe I get my cable and ISP setup on Wednesday (sometime between 9 and 11...I can't complain, the time frame has lowered some, at least, it used to be 4 hour blocks).

New job....

2006-08-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I have just been offered a position at a structural engineering firm in Appleton. Convenient that the company had an office in Appleton, huh? Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something about not getting that last job in Madtown.

I have verbally accepted the offer - hard to turn down a 5% raise, eh? Plus living in a town where the cost of living is lower, etc. This could turn out to be profitable as well as getting back to being fun going to work in the morning.

I have not written my letter of resignation from my current employer yet, so don't go blathering - you folks are the second to know, my dad was the first (oh, and those who know my mom, don't tell her I told you before her, she'd be VERY upset :) ).

I will most likely say more tomorrow, but I wanted to say:

Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers during this very trying time for me. You really don't know how good it felt getting the comments, well wishes and phone calls about this. Very cool, I am truly blessed with good friends.

Some days...

2006-08-19T02:59:00.000-07:00

I feel like Verne in this cartoon...

Holy f'd up body, Batman!

2006-08-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

Made it through the first week on the new project up in Appleton. All my pieces and parts are where they are supposed to be - all jokes aside, that is my first priority.

But HOLY SHIT is my body schedule completely FUCKED right now. Sleep, well, that should be obvious, I was working 6 pm to 6 am, so that's about exactly opposite to my normal schedule. But what's surprising me is my digestive reaction...umm, not too much detail, but normally I'm pretty regular, as it were. Not right now, let me tell you. And I'm hungry all over the place. Sometimes at 3 am, sometimes at "normal" lunch/dinner/breakfast times, sometimes just out of the blue. It's screwing up my sleeping even worse (I don't sleep well when my belly is rumbling).

I think I found an apartment (just waiting on my boss right now to sign a lease up there). A place with a walkin to the kitchen from the 1 car garage. $615/month. Heat INCLUDED!!! For those of you not from a cold place like WI, that is HUGE!!! A fireplace, 2 bedroom, washer and dryer in unit. Basically, in Madtown, a place like this would go for somewhere in the neighborhood of $1000 without heat. Only one problem, and this is the one that will keep overnight visitors away (and will screw with me the first month or so I'm there) - my apartment is about 50 ft (tops) away from an operating train line. I know that I'll get used to it. I've found that I can sleep through almost anything once my body knows what is what. But if I'm just staying for a night or two, I would hardly get a wink with a couple of trains going by.

Oh, and I have an interview on Tuesday next week in the morning - C, if you ever meet my current boss (unlikely, but still), you were up there doing some sort of ministerial thing that I didn't understand and we were hanging out on Tuesday morning after I got off of work. I hate to use my friends as excuses, but I needed something...my current boss is going to visit sometime this week and I wanted him to know that Tuesday was out.

About the interview though, I may have to make the choice to basically screw my father to take the job. The guy who called me didn't react really very well when I said I was committed to finishing the job I am working on now. If that becomes a deal-breaker, I'll quit in the middle of this job - which will completely screw my father and co-workers. But hey, my old co-worker (the one who just quit) screwed me up, why not me screw someone else up? I have to talk with Dad this weekend about it...he's usually not real big on people not following through on the commitments/promises they made (anybody wonder why I'm very careful about making promises?).

And so the new project begins...

2006-08-14T04:41:00.000-07:00

Today is pre-construction meeting day. 1 PM at the Region office. Then tomorrow is move in day, trying to get all of my office and equipment stuff up to Appleton and into the field trailer in a manner where I can find everything.

Also tomorrow and Wednesday, I'll be looking for apartments. I've got one very much in mind, but we'll see how the visit goes.

Then Wednesday night, it begins...again, if you live up there or know anyone up there, let them know that USH 41 is going to be a mess on overnights and in the morning commutes until about the end of September. They should find alternate routes, they should use them.

How not to say goodbye...

2006-08-08T20:11:00.000-07:00

If you want to make all of the other folks who work for you trust you even less, do what my boss did...don't even make eye contact with one of the guys who quits. From the day he announces he's quitting to the day he leaves, don't speak one word to him. Ignore him.

Don't go up to him on his last day. Don't say "good bye and good luck". Don't acknowledge his existence. Don't acknowledge the good he's done in the past for the company, the sacrifices or anything else. Just ignore him and hope he goes away quietly. Don't even shake his hand.

I think that the treatment my ex-coworker got from my boss just further cemented my resolve to find gainful employment elsewhere.

Absence continued...

2006-08-07T17:20:00.000-07:00

You've probably noticed the lack of new material here. Well, I've been very busy at work, both dealing with the loss of a co-worker (he is very well-liked and he will be sorely missed by pretty much everyone who works there...of course, another company is getting what I feel is a great employee) and with actual work.

Well, from now until sometime in mid-late October, expect the same amount of blog material. My search continues for new work (I'll try to update - Dad dropped a bit of a shocker on me today, but it's actually confidential, so I REALLY can't talk about it here), I'll continue bitching about my current job and probably still not find a date (dates don't traditionally start with breakfast, do they? well, sometimes they END with breakfast...but that is another story entirely ;) ).

I hope that I can occasionally still get in to read my blogging buds after the 20th of August, but it'll be touch and go at best.

Apple's Town

2006-08-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

Well, that will be my hometown soon (if you know the state in the Union that I live, you can find it on a map pretty easily if you learn how to spell it correctly :) ).

I was there today looking over the 9.2 miles of the major highway that goes around it today. Those 9.2 miles will be patched in a period of about 6 weeks starting with the last two weeks in August. If you live around there and know alternate routes, use them.

If you don't live around there, pray/cross your fingers/meditate, whatever is your thing that everyone on the construction crews and all of the people who pass through there stay safe and sound. It is going to be dangerous I think, but not at the times a lot of people are thinking it will be dangerous.

A lot of people think it will be dangerous at 6 pm when we shut down 2 out of 3 lanes in one direction. They think it will be dangerous because there will still be a lot of cars out there. Actually, because there will be a lot of cars out there, it will be much less dangerous. Because they'll all be about stopped...because you can't fit 3 full lanes of high speed traffic into 1 lane of high speed traffic, everyone will be slowed down tremendously.

This is the time of day that I learn new ways to insult people and find out new ways to combine nasty names to make up a new name - motherfucker, asshole and cocksucker are so, well, passe. Said more quickly, they combine to mothercockassholesuckerfucker and it just makes you smile when you learn a new word. Next time you go by a construction site and feel like swearing at the men and women out there, try to do something new. We all appreciate new vocabulary. Thanks! :)

No, I'm worried about 2 am to 3 am. Bar time is 2 am in most of this state. There won't be anyone on the roads except for us, the drunks and a few cops. The drunks won't slow down for the construction site. Honestly, yes, I am quite nervous about it...we'll be working from 6 pm to around 4 am.

Momma always said...

2006-07-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I'll blog some other day, I don't have anything nice to say...

Now I'm grumpy

2006-07-27T17:14:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This post contains a vigorous sprinkling of a potty-mouthed, tired and grumpy engineer...I apologize in advance to anyone offended by my language, but I could care less right now!

Well, as I figured, my dad had a snowball's chance in hell to talk my co-worker out of quitting...it's official, he put in his notice this morning.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

I know it's better for him to be the heck out of this job, but I am so fucked right now! I was counting on him to be my right hand man up in Appleton for these two jobs up there this fall...now I will have me and 3 guys who have NEVER been on a construction job before as my crew up there! FUCK! I realize that what we do is NOT rocket science, but it is difficult to know all of the specifications, etc. I am not worried that the guys won't be able to figure out the technical side of what is going on, I mean, come on, I could teach any one of you how to handle the basic portion of the job. It's the fact that this may be one of the most complex overall jobs I have ever worked, due to its speed of construction requirement (25 working days) and the unbelievable restrictions on us restricting traffic (yep, its as confusing as the sentence I just wrote).

FUCK!

Then, the other job that is supposed to happen up there (job #2) could possibly start in the middle of job #1 discussed above. Job #2 will be fairly straight forward and simple. Problem is, if they are both going on at the same time, I am FUCKED! Basically, job #1 is allowed to work 21 hours a day. From what I have discussed with the contractor on the job, he will be using 21 hours a day (GREAT!). Okay, now job #2 starts and works just daytimes. I have to watch this job, because I won't trust anyone else on it from my "green" crew (if the guy who quit was going up there with me, job #2 would have been all his). Well, my crew is green, so I have to work at least part of the overnight on job #1 to make sure the traffic control is set up. Then I have to work the entire next day taking care of job #2, then right back to job #1 in the evening. Anybody know when I'm going to sleep?

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

One upside (in a really sick sort of way) is that I will easily fill my 3 weeks worth of comp time allowed and probably still get some extra hours paid at straight time, so I should be well compensated for nearly killing myself.

And I will admit, I've always loved a challenge...

I've asked for help, but there is none to be had...remember my least favorite boss? He wouldn't let my father or the other cost center leaders hire anyone because billability was too low earlier in the year. Well, shit!

Oh, and did I mention that I'm very concerned about traffic control on job #1? It just so happens that this spring 2 highway maintenance crew members were KILLED at the very start of this job! FUCK!

I was tagged, so here is my response

2006-07-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

Since I got tagged in an email from my friends C & C and I don't have a lot of email contacts, I figured I'd continue the tag with my blog. Here are my responses to their tags:

Subject: Four Things About Me

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:

Paper boy (12-16)
Automotive parts warehouse worker (16-20)
Security guard (20-22)
Engineer (rest of my life)

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:

Star Wars - Pick one
Blade (only the first one)
Underworld (how can you not watch Kate Beckinsale in that outfit!)
Fight Club (although the book ends better)

C) Four places I've lived:

De Forest
Minnetonka
West Lafayette
Indianapolis

D) Four TV shows I love to watch:

CSI:Crime Scene Investigation (only the Las Vegas version)
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Two and a Half Men
The Outer Limits (modern versions)

E) Four places I've been on vacation:

Biloxi
San Francisco
Las Vegas
Seattle

F) Four websites I visit daily:

My financial pages - yes, I am very particular about money matters
Google (of course)
www.suduko.org.uk
this blog as a jumping point to my friends blogs

G) Four of my favorite foods:

Ice Cream (most anything sweet flavored, but vanilla is a fav)
Cheeseburgers, greasier the better
A really piled high club salad, real Ranch dressing
Apples

H) Four places I would rather be right now:

Vegas
My own place
Hunting - alone in the wilderness (I'm kind of tired of people right now)
Golfing

I) Four Friends I think will respond:

I haven't a clue...actually could care less - respond as the mood suits you. I respect you as my friends to do just that! :)

But consider yourself tagged! :) You're all it!

I am much better now, thank you...

2006-07-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days at work. As usual, it had nothing to do with the actual work, but the people there. Actually, one person.

I mentioned my co-worker who had the sick sister earlier in my blog (note: she did die the week prior to July 4). The one I have great respect for. He is most likely quitting on the 11th of August.

I am torn on this one. I am very happy that he is going somewhere that will respect his intelligence and drive much more than they do here. But I am going to miss him...we were never friends outside of work, so I probably won't see him much anymore. I'm going to miss his talents being on my side, working toward a common goal. Yes, I will miss our arguments and blow ups.

And I'm a bit jealous that he's getting the hell out of this company that I'm stuck at! :(

My dad will try to talk him out of it tomorrow and Friday (it is not official yet), but from his attitude this morning when he told me...well, let's just say my dad has a snowball's chance in Hades to change his mind.

Then I went to YSD and UTC...instant brightening of the day! I'm feeling much better now, thank you.

Muscles

2006-07-25T16:41:00.000-07:00

I went for a bike ride this morning for my cardiovascular workout. 1st bike ride I've been on in years. I have a feeling (I'm starting to sense it right now) that tomorrow is going to be one of those days where I sit there thinking "hmm, that's a muscle I don't remember having...kinda sore".

But at least it's a good sore, since I have to start changing my workouts up. I have for years been a NordiqueTrack (old ski machine) kind of guy. I enjoy that workout very much. Well, the old body has finally said enough with the fracking ski machine workouts. Try something different. So, I started treadmilling it (I do 40 minutes there on the Canyon Run setting) and I started the biking today.

I think this fall I'll start looking into training to do a "sprint" triathlon. Basically, take an Iron Man and divide it by 8. So, basically something along the lines of 0.5 mile swim, 13 mile bike and a 5k run. I've always thought about it, I think it's time I finally go after it hard.

So this fall, on top of the bike and run training I'm starting, I'll have to find a health club with a pool so I can start swimming again. I have not been in a pool for years, so I will have many of those days I started this post with.

I'll try to make an April race for my first one, since I won't be able to get serious about training until October at the earliest.

I'll also try to keep an update here on my training and diet plan (I have to lose some weight to help with the pounding on the knees from running since I'm about 30 lbs over where I should be).

Job Search goes on...

2006-07-24T15:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I just talked with the company that was looking at hiring me.

There is officially no joy in Mudville.

Bummer, but maybe this is how it was supposed to turn out for me. We'll see how things move. I'll go with the flow, maybe the universe needs me in Appleton for a while.

I will be working in the Appleton area this summer/fall (end of Aug, Sept, Oct.) and moving up there sometime during that session (if my current employer actually opens the office they keep promising to open).

After those construction jobs are done, I will renew my job search to see how things happen. And actually, the company that was looking at hiring me only didn't hire me because of workload issues (there wasn't enough right at this moment in time). If they get a big job or a series of big jobs, they will be calling me (this guy I can believe, because he hasn't lied to me yet!).

Simple pleasure

2006-07-04T17:53:00.000-07:00

Sitting around with my mom and dad, sister and her boyfriend, having a great meal (sister's boyfriend has a smoker - we had slow cooked bbq'd ribs - YUM!), talking, enjoying the sunshine and the bird's singing.

The world is good today, very good today...

Now I'm going up to continue watching the "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy with my dad. It's probably the 4th or 5th time I've watched it, but watching it with my dad is pretty special (he read the Trilogy before I did, right after I bought them for myself to read). He really taught me about being loyal and friendship. And he taught me a sense of right and wrong. And if you read the books, yes they have the undertone of Christianity, but they have an incredibly strong story of friendship. And of doing what is right, even when it's the hardest thing you've ever done.

Almost there...

2006-06-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, a while back I started working on a projector based on using an overhead projector and an LCD panel from an LCD monitor.

After a couple of trials and learning efforts ( and one damaged LCD on the way there :( ), I've got it almost done.

A couple of things still left to do: 1. Try to repair the minor scratch in the OHP glass - noticeable and annoying on the screen. 2. Get a projector screen - the beige wall of my bedroom is working for the time being, but I've got to get better color and image off of a real screen vs. the wall. 3. Figure out a cabinet for this thing - I've got a couple of ideas, but I won't be able to work on those until later on (once I'm in my own place). 4. Minor item of getting the LCD panel more firmly attached to the frame I have built. 5. Minor item of getting the frame I have built more solidly attached to the OHP.

Here are some initial photos, laugh all you want, I'm pretty happy with the results so far.

The beast in action - wondering why I want some sort of cabinet yet? :)

Mario Kart 64 on the wall - sweeeeeeet!

Star Wars Battlefront on the wall - cool!

Social Value Quiz

2006-06-24T23:46:00.000-07:00

I took this survey that YSD has on her blog.

I find it interesting that I am a GenXer - I always hated that title for my generation.

It is geared toward the Canucks, so I expect it to be a bit off here and there.

It also says that I am a New Aquarian, whatever that might mean. Some of the items it lists for my group make sense, while others seem silly ("Everything changed in Seattle." - insane and silly, "Respect for education" - right on the freaking mark).

Incidence in Population

Proportion of Canadian population: 5 per cent
Proportion of Gen Xers: 14 per cent

Other Demographics

Mostly mirror the general population

Fundamental Motivations

Social Justice and Experience-seeking

Key Values

Adaptability - Yes, definitely
Concern for the less fortunate - Yes, definitely
Concern for the environment - Yes, most of the time
Respect for education - Yes
Contempt for traditional authorities - Surprisingly moreso as I get older
Hedonism - well, the description concerning happiness, yes, the description concerning pleasure, not so much

Words to Live By

There is no being, only becoming - quite true, we never really are finished as people, are we?
Everything changed in Seattle - no freaking way
No justice, no peace - I agree, without the violence this statement suggests

Icons

Singer Sarah McLachlan - umm, I'm sure I know her stuff, but umm, I really can't put my finger on it
Author Naomi Klein - who?
Singer/activist Jello Biafra - again, who?
Rap-metal group Rage Against the Machine - yep
Author/activist John Zerzan - who?
Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar - umm, NO...
Dead Prez - I'm thinking I don't know these folks
I guess what I'm saying is that I have little in common or touch with the "pop" culture of my age group

Money Orientation - This is all basically on the mark for me

Making it: I'd never do work I didn't believe in.

Spending it: When I must consume at all, I consume with conscience.

Saving it: I'm not saving much now, but when I do I'll call the shots.

Stealing it: No, thanks.

Giving it away: Environmental and social causes.

Representation...

2006-06-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

The following quotes are from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart from June 20th:

Jon Stewart: "The country is run by extremists because moderates have shit to do."

How amazingly true. Funny, but true. Unfortunately, the only way for a moderate to change this is to become an extremist...:(

Juliet Eilperin, talking about Town Hall meetings: "...and I've gone to plenty of them, people who are crazy show up there."

Not a good indictment of American politics or our most vocal people. Ever notice that the squeeky wheel get's the grease? I guess us pragmatic moderates need to squeek a little more...

Later in the interview, this exchange:

JS: "So you choose to focus on the raping and pillaging of the environment rather than government politics because, uh..."

JE: "I find it less depressing."

A blast so funny I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. Funny in the most horrific and terrible way possible. It truly is sad.

Ms. Eilperin wrote a book called "Fight Club Politics". I'm not sure I like the reach in the title, but I may check it out at the local bookstore. I'm sure it won't tell me anything incredibly new or shocking, but it may provide some insight beyond some of the gut feelings that I have about our current political system (it doesn't give us a "representative" government - probably not the most shocking revelation to anyone reading this blog, but it's one of those things that needs to be said "out loud").

Road Closed to Thru Traffic

2006-06-19T16:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is a rant and I am trying to be nice about it.

How many times have you seen the sign in road construction orange that say "Road Closed to Thru Traffic"? How many times have you gone ahead and driven through anyway?

What this sign means is - if you don't live or have business (shopping, friends house, etc) in the construction zone behind the sign - don't go in there. Flat out, point blank, don't effing go in there. There is a reason the signs are up, there is a danger to you or the construction crews if you continue.

FISHTABs and FIB's have a tendency to think there is no reason for this construction, and what the f* are the orange signs and barrels anyway? They seem to be in my path, well, I'll just drive around, I'm sure nothing bad will happen.

Right as they completely f*up about 2-3 hours worth of work for 8 guys (think about it people, that's 2-3 days worth of man hours!!!! 1 day is worth about $250 - no it isn't much when taken out of the big "state" pot, but how about we take it out of your wallet?)

Now the emotional plea to those who know me - imagine it is me in every construction zone and SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Going past me at 60 MPH is not a big deal to me when I have a nice concrete barrier between your car and me. Going past me at 60 MPH within less than a foot of me and no barrier scares me! Please don't do it, I don't like being scared for my life! Would it be alright if I drove a 4000 pound vehicle through your office when you are just trying to make a decent living?

Thanks

Cleaning up the PVR

2006-06-17T16:46:00.000-07:00

You know, I had this goal when I built my PVR: Record every CSI: Crime Scene Investigation ever made (yes, only the Las Vegas one, the other spin-offs bore me).

I was stunned today when I got done cleaning the PVR off. I have actually recorded a majority of them at this point. I believe I have something like 7 more episodes from Season 1, about 17 from Season 2 and a bunch from this last season (6) because I got the PVR running in the middle of the season. I have 100 episodes on DVD at this point, in the PVR format of .nuv, 2 at a time, organized from Episode 1 thru 140 (with some obvious gaps listed above). I also have about 10 still sitting on the machine waiting on their "partner" or second numerical episode to be recorded so I can record them on DVD's and keep them organized. Note: The .nuv format does not work in a DVD player, but I have encoder software that I can use if I ever need to. The .nuv format just hides the .avi format.

I also had a crapload of 2-1/2 Men that I just went ahead and nuked (while I love the show, it is also just a sitcom), a bunch of The Outer Limits (favorite of the Sci Fi/Fantasy freak shows), a couple of Twilight Zones (just don't like as much as the Limits), and some of the new BSG.

Speaking of BSG, you have to be careful about telling your PVR/Tivo to record ALL episodes of BSG. You get the campy old 70's version episodes. I used to love that show, now it is an irritant. It, for whatever reason, is nothing compared to the new show. (Well, I can name FIVE reasons for me: Kandyse McClure, Tricia Helfer, Katee Sackhoff, Leah Cairns and Grace Park. ;-) That is one FINE looking cast!).

I really like my PVR...it let's me actually watch the Daily Show (I am usually trying to fall asleep when it comes on).

Second interview

2006-06-15T15:22:00.000-07:00

Well, the company I interviewed with a few weeks ago over lunch contacted me to meet them again this morning. A second interview. I think it went well. I didn't have any negative vibes from the guy who is the head of structural engineering for this company. I actually liked the guy quite a bit. Honest, straight-shooter, asked me direct questions about my 6 years that kind of disappear off of my resume - my "party and figuring out what the heck I'm going to do with my life" 6 years. He had initial concerns about why I had left it off, but I was honest and upfront and he felt much better after our discussion. I'm not trying to hide anything, it's just I'm not too proud of those specific years of my life. He said, "It's a good thing people don't judge us on just a few moments in our lives." I tend to agree.

And honesty was his word...those of you who know me know how much that means to me...

Side note: Actually, C, some of his mannerisms reminded me of a certain male parental unit that lives somewhere to the northwest of here in Montana - kind of scary, some of the same twitches, etc, but a much nicer guy.

They said that they will make a decision for sure in the next two weeks. That might be stretching the truth a little bit (they took almost 3 weeks to just get us to meet a second time after they decided they wanted a second interview). But if they do, I'll know by the end of this month, I'm sure.

I sure hope they pick me (I don't know how much competition there is or even if there is competition). I really think I could do well in their environment. Constant challenges, constant learning...and one more comment that this guy I met today made that makes me really think it will be a challenge - he said, "Building codes are for rectangular buildings and idiots." Basically, this means that many of the buildings that they design are outside the basic realm of the code, making them the kind that you have to roll around in your head a bit, even before you start analyzing them mathematically...very coooool!

Wish me luck - I really want this job!

Finito

2006-06-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

I finished the paperwork for the bridge project I did last summer. Finally. Today is exactly one year to the day that the project started. Kind of fitting, I would say.

If the knuckleheaded contractor had done things when I told them about them, I would have been done in December of last year...oh, well. Do the work where the most penalty is involved...or the most reward...that's the contractor's motto.

Big day on Thursday...I'll say more Thursday night.

Bored tonight, I guess, this is the last one...:)

2006-06-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

Your Eyes Should Be Blue

Your eyes reflect: Innocence and sweetness

What's hidden behind your eyes: A calculating mind

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Tarot

2006-06-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

I've played with these cards before, never really seemed all that intriguing. Seemed like it was a game of mirrors and figuring out what the other person (the person shuffling the cards) was trying to get a read on, and flowing to make it a happy ending...entertainment for $5, you know?

Plus, as this one shows me, it is so generic and vague that I could almost plant anyone in this description.

And yet, I find this one pretty cool...weird, huh?

You Are The Emperor

You are an authority figure, and other people look to you for what to do.
You are strong and powerful. Crossing you is not a good idea.
You have worked hard to get to your position, and you're not about to give it up to anyone.
Though you have a warrior heart, you are gentle to those who treat you well.

Your fortune:

In the near future, you need to be willing and able to defend those you love.
This may be the time for you to step up and be the authority figure to those around you.
It is time for you to be independent, to become your own person.
You may need to look at your relationship with your father, or your relationships as a father.

What Tarot Card Are You?

My best co-worker...

2006-06-12T18:31:00.000-07:00

has a sick sister. She's going to die. Soon. And very young. Terminal cancer, like my uncle and aunt. Evil f*cking disease.

I could sense something was wrong today, he wasn't as snarky as usual.

After he left for the day, my dad told me what was going on. Asked me to ease up a bit on him for a while.

I think the reason he and I get along so well is that he can be as nasty as he wants to be with me and I'll shoot right back. Basically someone you know you can trust to be honest with you, even when it sucks because you did something stupid and need to fix it.

I respect him, and it feels mutual.

I hope he's doing okay...

Old rule, reiterated loudly and firmly

2006-06-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

Warning to anyone offended by discussions of body hair: Stop reading after "...cage." TMI

Okay, here's the deal. I love pets, I really do. But one of the reasons I don't have one is that they shed. A lot. And then you have to vacuum. And then they shed some more. Then you give up and deal with the tufts of hair left everywhere. I remember this from my cat.

Old Rule, more loudly and firmly: Pets with any kind of hair or feathers are not welcome in the passenger compartment of my new car. It's going to be bad enough cleaning up my own silver/white hair off of the black upholstery, I don't need to be fighting trying to get Fido's or Fifi's (or even a Fizzy's - sorry C & C :) ) hair off of it as well. I just spent the better part of the last hour trying to clean up the upholstery in it today (key word in that last sentence is "trying").

In a cage/box in the bed of my old truck or trunk of the new car = okay. Passenger compartments of either = no good, even in a cage.

You know, with as hairy as I am, you'd think I wouldn't mind the extra hair laying around. Problem is, I think my own shedding is gross enough, having a hairy animal around just multiplies the problem.

My "new to me" car...

2006-06-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

That's my new car, with my old truck in the background...any guesses as to which one gets the better gas mileage? :) But then, which one could pull the other? :) Cool, now I've got multipurpose vehicular motion machines when I use them together! :)
--------
I have "Blade" on the TV next to me. One of my favorite quotes from the movie:

Blade: "It's still heavy."

Whistler: "But you're so big."

Warning: Rant ahead...

2006-06-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've gotta vent about something.

1st off, let me be clear, I support education very much. I've spent 21 of my 35 years in school of some sort. Yes, 60% of my life in a school, I like education.

2nd off, I do have a bit of an interest in what I am about to rant about, paycheck-wise at my current place of employment.

Those are so you can see that there are other motivating factors outside of my rant.

Here goes:

Wisconsin has a gas tax. Everybody pays an extra $0.26 per gallon. Yes, this hurts when the gas prices go up. But if you think about it really hard, the percentage of taxes paid on each gallon actually drops for every penny the price of gasoline goes up.

Where does that money go, you might ask? Well, it is earmarked for transportation projects. Yep, the gas tax here in Wisconsin is a good old-fashioned "user" tax. You drive on the roads with a gas hogging truck like I do, you pay for it. You drive a little car, you pay for the roads. I think it's fair, almost like a toll-way, you just only have to stop every 400 miles (or so) instead of every 10 ft.

Well, that's where the money is SUPPOSED to go. But then you get a short-sighted governor in office trying to be a "hero". First, he gets the state senate and assembly to rescind the legal 3% annual increase in the gas tax (no huge deal, but it's short sighted, and he's not saving us anything). Second, he takes $420 million of the annual transportation budget and hands it to his buddies in education (the education lobbyists basically got him elected).

Now, I want you to think about something here. How do roads get built? What about maintained? Well, they don't just magically get fixed, let me tell you. There are men and women working their behinds off trying to keep up with demand. There are also lots of machines working too. Guess what they run on? Diesel fuel, most of them. Okay, can anyone guess what might be happening to bids from contractors this year? Through the effing roof, all the way through the effing roof.

What is hot mix asphalt made of? You guessed it, asphaltic concrete cement and stone. Asphaltic concrete cement is a fancy word for "oil". Can anybody guess what has happened to the price of hot mix asphalt this summer? I just talked with one of our clients on Wednesday. 137% increase in asphalt costs this summer. From $218 per ton (approximate) last year to $516 per ton (approximate) this year. 2.5 miles of two lane county road (which requires about 4" thick of asphalt, more major roads take much more asphalt) take approximately 9000 tons of HMA to build. You do the math.

Can anyone say "oh, shoot"?

So, in summary, the WisDOT has less money to pay for more expensive stuff going on. From water-cooler talk over at the region I work with a lot, they are approximately 2 years behind in budget at this point, and it's only getting worse (borrowing from 2009 budget soon to pay for this year's projects). The extra $420 million would have been a big help to get through some of the rough patches. If we aren't careful, WisDOT might want to declare bankruptcy.

Sorry, Democrats out there, but Doyle has got to go. I understand that education is important as much as the next guy, but so is our freaking infrastructure. And if we keep losing sight of the infrastructure, we are in some seriously deep doo-doo. How much is a school worth if you can't even get to it?

I'm gonna get a new caa-ar!

2006-06-08T19:06:00.000-07:00

I talked with the friend that is selling me her Toyota a bunch of times today. Getting everything setup for the payment and the delivery.

My 'rents are soooo cool, they're driving me down to Chico-town so I can pick it up on Sunday.

I'm getting pretty excited/nervous.

Unfortunately, there will be some wait time (Illinois department of transportation sucks, as if you didn't know that already).

But it will be worth it in the end. This car sure seems solid, drove well, and is a fair bargain. I should be happy with it for at least 5-6 years until I am in a house of my own (my next major purchase, wish me luck).

Yesterday

2006-06-08T19:02:00.000-07:00

was spent standing next to a hot mix asphalt paver. I am so glad I went to get my master's degree, so I can stand and take tickets all day long, multiply and divide a couple of numbers together. Bored to freaking tears...

Plus, that smell, what a wonderful scent that hot mix asphalt gives off. Kind of an oily sulfur, you just can't get it out of your cloths. My cloths will smell like that for about 3 or 4 washes from now...

On the bright side, it is out of the office and away from the stresses there.

Titles

2006-06-06T17:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, I watch "2 and a half Men" on CBS. I don't like most sitcoms, but this one hooked me almost immediately (again, with the seeing the friend and myself very vividly in the show - D is Charlie, myself - Alan or sometimes Jake and sometimes actually Charlie ;)). Yes, it is incredibly sophomoric and idiotic and crass and base and all of the wonderful things you can say about this show.

But the thing that throws me is that I never paid attention to the actual episode titles until I got my PVR up and running (MythTV records the episode titles, cool).

Okay, now how do these sound? Please note, all are quotes from during the show...

"Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark"
"Santa's Village of the Damned"
"That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite"
"Just Once With Aunt Sophie"
"And the Plot Moistens"
"Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro"
"Humiliation is a Visual Medium"
"Golly Moses, She's a Muffin"

While the titles are NICE, the complete quotes work much better in context.

GOP and their political meanderings...

2006-06-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm going to put my little two cents in here. And all at the risk of sounding incredibly stupid or dumb, because I know I don't have all the answers.

Let me present this as I am, a straight single white male. I will also say that I am a moderate, usually leaning toward pragmatic. I also voted for the incompetent prez in office, but then I felt at the time that Kerry was the worst of the two evils (please, GOP or Democrats, bring me a good presidential candidate in the next election).

The GOP keeps bringing up this sonuvabitching marriage amendment, basically defining marriage as 1 Man and 1 Woman right in the Constitution. I honestly have only one major argument against this: This entire thing seems to be a CULTURAL issue. There have been polls taken and somewhere in the neighborhood of 70% of people support this amendment. Now, this is one of those statements that will get me called stupid or dumb, I am ASSUMING that even as short a time as 10 years ago, this would have been 80% or 90%. That is why I call this a cultural issue. The Gay and Lesbian "agenda" has been one of education, from what I can see. They are only trying to teach us straight folks one thing, and it's pretty simple really. Outside of their sexuality, they are just like a straight person. They eat, sleep, shit, wear cloths, need health care, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah. Guess what? They're right. They don't deserve special rights, but they do deserve the same exact rights that a straight person deserves. More succintly, they deserve the same rights that ANY HUMAN deserves. And, from my point of view, thank goodness that they're finally educating the rest of us (too bad they have to spend their time fighting/educating us instead of spending it enjoying themselves living life).

Can anybody name another CULTURAL amendment that was ever passed? Can anyone say PROHIBITION? Is it just me, or was that a bit of a miss in our thought process back in the day?

Now, marriage. What exactly is it? Well, from what I can see of it, it represents two different things to people (yes, I am oversimplifying things, so bear with me). One, from a religious standpoint, it is a PROMISE (church legal) to stay together until death do you part. Umm, okay, so outside of your own morals, there is nothing too brutal happening here. Religon is supposedly seperated from state, so if there is a religon out there that will support gay marriage, shouldn't be a problem for anyone else from a different religon if two gay people want to get married (because it's none of the other folks f*cking business, thank you very much). Two, from the legal standpoint. This one gets a bit sticky, but I don't see where the problem is here either. Two people, LEGALLY married, well, they are attached in so many ways, you can't describe them all here. Who are they bothering when they do this? Heck, if anything, we get to tax them more (marriage tax penalty), so it increases our federal revenue. I'm all for that, being single and all! :) And it kills another bird by allowing them to get proper health care without having to look for the progressive employers out there.

I guess what I'm saying is that a Constitutional amendment is the completely wrong thing to do right here. From my point of view, so is a law written by a state or other entity to ban gay marriages. But if that is what the majority thinks is what we need, that is what they need to try to impose, because a law is more easily changeable. Soooooo, long story short...

What the f*ck good is this going to do for all of the other issues this nation is facing? We are involved in an unpopular war (yes, it is still a WAR, even though end of "major hostilities" has been declared by our incompetent U.S. prez), there are a sh*tload of homeless folks, our economy is strong but showing signs of getting into trouble, hate crimes are still rampant, health costs are out of control, domestic abuse is still out there, so on, so forth, etc. Can we please try to tackle something that will actually help someone other than the extreme religious schmuck who thinks that the USA is causing God to bring the end times down on us because our gays are getting married? WTF!?!?!

And on a personal note: I never liked the Senator from my home state, Russ Feingold much. That is until he walked out of the committee hearing on bringing this issue to the floor. I know it was probably a bit grandstandish, but to have the balls to step out and basically say "F*ck this, this is a waste of time to even discuss" impresses the hell out of me. That's a couple of good things he's done lately...

Congratulations!

2006-06-04T16:33:00.000-07:00

Well, C officially graduated today, with a great group of people and friends. Congratulations all!!!

Okay, I'm a bit misty-eyed today. Yes, some are joyous tears, others are tears of, hmm, what's the right word? I guess the right bunch of words is "I'm going to miss seeing you in person."

I hope my father is wrong about one of his sayings. It goes something like this: "We all get busy, so take the chances to see your (insert term of endearment here, such as friend, brother, sister, lover) when you get them. Because you'll get busy and we won't see each other anymore."

When you entered C's life and touched it, you inadvertantly touched mine. Sometimes in dramatic fashion. You have taught me lessons that I never could have learned anywhere else. You shared with me.

Thank you.

Wow, what a week...

2006-06-04T16:11:00.000-07:00

If you look at my last post, it says it got posted on Monday, May 29. Well, that's actually when I started to write it, so to be honest, I just posted it today.

Tuesday, I get to work, and am immediately sent out to Walworth county here in WI for a quick little setup visit. I really don't like contractors that call on Friday afternoon before a long weekend and expect you to be somewhere 2 hours away right away on Monday morning (especially when you leave for the day on Friday at noon). Not cool, so that was a stressful day.

Wednesday, I had a great meal at C's parental unit's house, visiting with his sister and two nieces. Very cool. I got mugged again (K gives great hugs :)). And K and L have this little sibling rivalry thing going on, so they showered me with lots of attention and game playing (I am nowhere near as good at "pretending" as I used to be, bummer).

Thursday was the same old, same old.

Friday, I got "sick" and visited with another possible new employer. Actually, I was a bit sick, but it probably wasn't enough to keep me home normally. They kind of ticked me off, because they cannot hire right now, and quite honestly, I'm not sure I would want to work there right now. You see, the old head guy, that I was kind of counting on being there, has left their company. They are in that "transition" phase, so it could get kind of ugly in that specific office over the next year or so.

Saturday, well, it was pretty freaking eventful. I went and looked at a friend's car that she was trying to sell. A nifty little Toyota Corolla. I am very excited, I decided to get it. She had a mechanic give it the "once over", I looked at pretty much every nook and cranny myself (looking for leaks is very important in a used car), I took it for a test drive and well, as they say, the rest is history. It will be mine here in a week or so when she and I can get our stuff together and meet so I can actually take possession of the vehicle.

Saturday was also the "last" poker party for the ML group of folks that I will probably attend (I say probably because "ever" is too long a time, something might come up). I lost money to these people (AGAIN - I never thought these ministerial types were thieves, but then, only the Eviscerator was actually a ministerial type at the table, the rest were partners of ministerial types - hmm, you ministerial types might want to watch your wallets :) you are in love with thieves!!! :) ).

Today, I went and picked up my 'rents at the airport. The airline lost their luggage...NICE!

A week ago Saturday...

2006-05-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

my friend C was ordained as a minister.

I've thought long and hard about how to say the things I wanted to say that night, when they had a "second" shot at C to get up and speak. I just couldn't organize my thoughts that night, and I would say that I am probably not all the way there yet, but I am going to give it a try.

First, a quick history of our friendship. We met in the 4th grade, when he moved from the Motor City to my hometown of Da Woods. That's a few years ago, and I can proudly say that we've known each other for about 72% of our lives and been friends for about 67% of our lives (let's just say that high school was a rough time for both of us - I didn't want to be me, and there were other forces at work).

Now, to the Saturday before last. Most of the day is quite a blur. I got there in time for the ceremony, but let's just say that I almost didn't (thank goodness that the "Low Fuel Warning" in my parent's Lincoln comes on with a gallon left in the tank...because if it came on with a half gallon, I wouldn't have made it). So I was already in that "oh, shoot, I'm not going to make it in time" mode. Then I got to the church, and got tackled by my "niece" (C's real niece) when I got through the entrance of the church. That pretty much got me into the "this is gonna be a great day" mode (she gives really good hugs :)).

Since it is such a blur for me, I am going to just say the general feelings I got from the people around me. There was much joy in Whoville, that is a definite. There was singing and much praise handed out.

And that is where the really good thoughts I have started spinning out and blurring the whole picture, through my tears at the beauty of the songs and the sermons and the people involved in all of this and the words that they spoke about my friend, C.

You see, C had already touched my life in about a million different ways. We have cried through some things, and we have celebrated some tremendous victories and life moments together. And I have (it seems) always known him as my friend, C.

I have in other posts talked about things that make them real. Like when I design a building or a bridge, touching them after they are built makes them real to me. Well, I think that was part of the blurring I was talking about above.

I had always kind of had the idea that C was going to be a minister. And I had an inkling that he was going to be a really good one, too. The day before last made it a "real" thing for me. Seeing the reaction of the people who had ordained him, seeing the reaction of the people who had helped teach him, seeing the reactions of his peers, well, it was emotionally very intense and very, very real.

I am so pumped that C is beginning the journey of sharing his talents with everyone else (he has always shared, I guess, but with only the few people he was friends with). Now that he is sharing with all of these other people, well, it's just really, really cool.

Good work, my friend, good work.

Little cars, little cars are everywhere...

2006-05-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

I went looking for new automobiles after work today. I drove several different ones, and liked all of them. That could be a problem. I drove the following 4 cars today, in no particular order: a 2006 Kia Rio5, a 2006 Kia Spectra5, a 2006 Ford Focus ZX3, and a 2005 Ford Focus ST sedan.

Ranking in order of my LIKING (only of the models I drove):

1. Ford Focus ST sedan - well built, fun as hell to drive, superb motor vs the rest of these, and a used car (I like a car that has some of the kinks worked out)
2. Kia Spectra5 - well built, fun as hell to drive.
3. Ford Focus ZX3 - well, it was the only automatic I drove, and I don't like automatics (BORING) - also only a 3 door, not good for my friends, I don't like having to move a seat to let them sit in the back.
4. Kia Rio5 - bigger inside than I thought it would be, but fitting more than 2 friends would be a trick because anyone taller than me would have to take the front seat and would most likely move the seat back to an uncomfortable location.

Ranking in order of my CHOICE (this includes pricing information):
1. Ford Focus ZX5-I did not drive one of these today, but it is basically the ZX3 with 2 more doors. More like the Kia Spectra5. Currently goes for about $14500 with the rebates that are on until the end of this month.
2. Kia Spectra5-well built, fun as hell to drive, just the car I am actually looking for (very similar to the ZX5). Only problem is its current price ($700 in rebates to the end of the month) going for about $16750.
3. Kia Rio5-great mileage (about 38 highway, 29 city vs 34/35 highway, 26/28 city for the Focus ZX5 and Spectra5), NO CRUISE CONTROL is a major downer for me though. Goes for about $14500 all the time (never any rebates).
4. Ford Focus ST sedan-well, I liked driving it, but I don't want a sedan, I want the cargo space of the hatchback. I'm so used to my F150 that I don't think I could do without the flexibility to carry something larger than a TV in my vehicle.

I looked at several options on the web, but the one that keeps coming up tops is the Ford Focus...so, if I had to buy one today, I would go with the ZX5 (but man, that Spectra5 was fun and a little more sporty looking).

But back to the reviews that I've found on the web, the Focus keeps coming up in the top 5, often times #1 in reviews for best buys for the dollar amount (actually surprising that an American company came up with a well valued compact car). The Spectra5 barely makes the list of 32, so that pushes the Focus over the top for the time being. We'll see how things go over the next month or so (if they pull out something where there are huge rebates still for one or the other, it may swing my purchase).

Oh, that's the thing. This car purchase hinges on my job search. If I get the new job, I will be buying a new car once I get into a new place to live. If I don't get the new job, well, there's always next year! :)

Painfully frugal...

2006-05-24T16:34:00.000-07:00

1st, an update to yesterday's post...jill was very right, it would have been VERY poor etiquette to not have verified the email. The guy had accidentally sent the email to the wrong person (me), rather than the right person (his boss). Phew, glad I sent my verification email!

Now onto my regularly scheduled post:

I am painfully frugal. I admit it. However, please note that this does not equate to "cheap". I buy things that I want still (albeit usually after I have waited for the initial MSRP to no longer be in effect), I definitely get the things I need and I try to find ways to get other things that I really want "right now".

What are my reasons for this, you might ask? Well, I think they are actually more noble than they might look or sound. Lots of people look at what I do and might equate it to greed...nope, I really don't love money at all (in fact, sometimes I wish that bartering were back in vogue). They look at what I do and call it cheap...nope, I actually buy either high or very high quality items.

No, the original reason I started on my trek for zero debt was simple. I wanted my freedom back. I didn't like being a slave to the companies I owed money to or to the job that I hated. C's parental unit made a great comment to me on Saturday. She said, "Well, you could always quit and live on what you have saved up." She's right, I could if I felt I needed to. This frugality has given me the freedom to walk away (I could actually lose my job and still survive just fine - on my own, not living in my 'rent's basement - for upwards of 1 year and if I pushed the panic button, 2 years). I don't know if I can express how wonderful that feeling is.

But now that I am on my way, I am seeing other things to do with my money. One mini example, I could go and get myself a newer/new little car that gets good gas mileage. Pay a little now to help where I can in the oil crisis and maybe help down the road for all of us (a little bit by all of us would help tremendously). Or, I could help a church out getting something done that the budget just hasn't been there for. Or help my niece get a new computer for college when she goes next fall. Or give the guy that needs a hand up $50 to get a room to clean up in so he can go and try to get a job (because he actually wants a job). Or, I could keep investing it so I get to my financial freedom sooner. I don't know, but I could do any of these things with it.

And then, when I have reached my financial goals, what then? Well, I like what my financial advisor book guru guy (Dave Ramsey) has to say: "We built this financial superbody for a reason. To have FUN, INVEST and GIVE." Because they are truly the only 3 really good uses for money anyway. I might be just guessing, but I think for most of us, GIVING would be so much FUN...

This plan I'm on won't be easy (it hasn't been thus far, that's for sure), but I really think it will be worth it in the end. And for those just starting on this run (or in the middle of it), trust me, even the water tastes sweeter on this side! :)

Now, I have to ask a question, mostly directed to C & C (because they know Madtown much better than I ever did and they probably know me better than I ever have) but to any others out there. I do feel a bit like a bum. I've been doing all this saving and saving and saving, but I haven't given anything back to the community. With my talents (as you know them), what organizations out there could use me? I'm thinking of volunteering, but I haven't a clue as to where I should volunteer or even what I might be good at helping with. Maybe a food kitchen? But maybe something else? Hell, I don't even know what I could do to help, and I sure don't know where to start. Maybe one evening every couple of weeks to start with and see where it goes from there, but first I've got to find the place to help. Email me, post a comment, phone call, whatever. Thanks, people!

Possible gaff...

2006-05-23T16:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't know if I did the right thing yet or not. The guy that I hope will be my new boss in the next month or so sent me an email this morning asking his superior to call me. I just noticed that it did not have an email address for his superior in it. I just sent an email asking him whether I was his intended audience for that email (i.e. did he bcc me or did he accidentally send it in the wrong direction?).

Was that proper etiquette?

I've tasted shoe leather before by sending an email in the wrong direction, so I know it can be done pretty easily.

Interview...

2006-05-23T05:39:00.000-07:00

Well, at least I have word now. Not solid word, but there is word now. Assuming I get the job, the person who would be my new boss has sent an email asking his superior to call me. This may sound like a lack of effort on his part when you first look at it, but it isn't. It sounds like they are buried in work. This is a very good sign (I really do poorly at work when there isn't enough going on).

Off to my current job, yikes, I'm late!

A minor edit...

2006-05-22T20:02:00.000-07:00

to my last post. I feel there may have been some confusion in something I said, from the comments received from C and an email I received from the other C.

1. The promise I made to myself about dating actually went more like thus: "I promise that I am going to try to start dating again. No matter what." The missing word was try. Sounds pretty minimal, but think about it, it's HUGE. I am a catch. For someone. I don't know who this woman might be, but she's out there, in that big thicket of fish. NOTE: I don't like the old saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea." Yes, there are. Too freaking many, thank you very much. It could take me to the end of time to sift through ALL of those opportunities. END OF NOTE. And that's where the word "try" comes in. I'm going to get plenty of "NO" answers before this is done, I understand that. That bothers me, but not horribly. If she's not into me, well, guess what, she's not into me. On to the next. But anyhow, that was the promise made, and I haven't tried, and that's why I'm pissed. I haven't allowed myself the time to focus on it. I think you can see from my collection of posts what I have been filling my time with to try to avoid the "try". Computers are easy. Dating is hard.

2. I was not upset by the "shitload of grief" I got this weekend. In fact, I took it as I think it was intended (jeez, I hope it was intended this way :) ). I felt like it was a bunch of really good people trying to look out for me. It made me feel kind of special, important. Which I usually aim myself away from, but I admit, it felt pretty darn good this weekend (WARNING: I get sudden and dramatic mood shifts and swings!!! So don't count on me being friendly about this next time, SORRY!!! in advance. :( No, really, ask C or C or R or T or T or D. The swings can be really ugly sometimes, but I've been better at controlling them as I get older).

NOW ONTO MY REGULARLY SCHEDULED POST:

I mowed the lawn tonight. I like mowing the lawn. It gives me time to just walk, no thinking allowed (the mower is too darn loud to concentrate anyway). It's odd, it's almost spiritual...round and round, no thinking, just walking. The brain wanders to whereever it would like to go. It's kind of like showering in the morning. You do it so many times, that your mind just wanders off because you really don't need to expend a lot of energy thinking about what you are doing. I joke that some of my best ideas come when I'm doing something like that, allowing the mind to just go and not focusing on it. And sometimes it's just brain thoughts firing off, almost like in a waking dream. Tonight was just relaxing, I feel refreshed, and naturally tired for the first time in a while...off to bed.

Sleep, where are you?

2006-05-21T20:51:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep. I should be getting used to this by now, take the Benadryl and pass out is about the only way I've found over the last couple of weeks. It's not quite 6 hours before I have to get up, that may be safe to try for a while, just to get enough zzz's to make it through the next day. But I've gotta get some real sleep.

Mind is racing all over the map...always happens on weekends like this one. I had a blast, I really did. It's just, well, hmm.

Part of my frustration that I've had in my life over the last, oh, six months especially has been this one thing that I promised myself. Not really a big deal, actually, yes it is, but it probably shouldn't be (or maybe it should be, I'm a tad confused :)). But here is my problem/dilemma. In previous posts, I have made this comment - "If you don't like something about yourself/your life, change yourself/your life." Most of the time, I point that logic to the "yourself" side (I am always trying to change something I don't like about me, whether it be bad habit, poor diet, bad financials, etc), but I made myself a promise in October of last year.

I had been on the dating shelf for a looooong time. I had put myself there. Long story short, loads of pain, tons of scarring that just wasn't healing doing what I was doing (in fact, probably getting worse - personal note to anyone else out there, an unhealthy relationship does not help with healing, trust me...), plus the fact that I had to find "me", or should I say, what was left of "me" and put it back together. And then make a pact with myself that I was going to always remember "me", which has always been difficult for me when I've dated. I had always been swallowed up by my girlfriends, completely and totally (or at least that is how I would feel). And I needed to find my path again, and remember how to walk it, and then walk it.

Well, I finally felt like it was time. I knew my exam was coming at the end of last October (the 28th to be precise). I promised myself that I was going to start dating again after that exam. I feel like I am ready again (otherwise I would have never posted about a certain admin I caught a shitload of grief for over this weekend - :) ).

The problem I'm having is twofold: 1st off, I'm pissed off at myself for not following through on a promise to the one person I promised I would never calculatingly lie to again, ME. 2nd off, honestly, I've been away from the "game" for so freaking long (yes, 5 years since my last serious girlfriend is a looooooonnnng time and 4 years prior to that) that I really don't have a clue anymore. No, I don't mean the physical side, I understand tab a slot b and all of the other wonderful tabs, buttons and touchable places for sexual pleasure for both people. That part is the simple part. It's all the other things that go with it (and now that I know how badly it can hurt you, I'm scared to death).

I have to at least try to go to sleep, but I wanted to say one more thing:

To everyone I hung with this weekend (C, C, T, and J and M and J, too), thank you. I had a great weekend (even with all of the guff I caught from all of you :) I hope I dished out as well as I took :) ).

Orioles

2006-05-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

My mom is so excited. My 'rents love to feed the birds, of any type. They especially like getting the song birds, though.

A pair of orioles just showed up at the feeding trays in back of their house!

I have to admit, I'm not that excited about the orioles myself...but they may be one of the prettiest birds I have ever seen. :)

(and the hummingbirds are back, now those are cool!)

Musical inclinations...

2006-05-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, YSD did a little list of 10 songs (inspired by Condi Rice?)

Here's my list...her #7 would make my list, but I felt I should let her list be her list:

1. No Leaf Clover Metallica Symphony & Metallica, CD 1 Track 08

2. Sober Tool Undertow Track 03

3. Astronomy Blue Oyster Cult the version I have is from their "Best of" album, Track 04

4. When I'm Gone 3 Doors Down Away from the Sun Track 01

5. Smoke on the Water Deep Purple the version I have is from "Deepest Purple", Track 12

6. I Am I'm Me Twisted Sister the version I have is from Big Hits and Nasty Cuts, Track 03 (but I used to own the old original CASSETTE tape with this song on it, played it until it stretched out too much)

7. Summertime D.J. Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince Homebase Track 02

8. I Love Rock-n-Roll Joan Jett & the Blackhearts the version I have is from "Greatest Hits", Track 05

9. A Tout Le Monde Megadeth Youthanasia Track 04

10. All of You Don Felder Heavy Metal: Music from the Motion Picture Track 14

NOTE: There are zero entries from Eric Clapton. I felt that this was the only fair way, since he would have had all ten entries. How do you rank a demigod with mere humans?

Uno's

2006-05-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

I went to Uno's for lunch today for my lunch interview. Decent pizza.

The job keeps sounding better and better. Sounds like the kind of crew I'd like to work with. One computer geek, one pretty serious manager, one other guy who just had his first kid. Usually this equals a good balance of people, with all different life experiences and plenty of people for me to learn from (yes, I always want to say before I go to bed at night "I learned something new today." whether that be structural or otherwise).

Good support from other offices and for the first time, a couple few other structural's to work with (I've basically been alone since I finished at Purdue). That is something I will definitely appreciate, another person with similar experience to bounce ideas off of.

Is it bad when the guy interviewing you asks, "So, after we talk with my boss and we decide to make this move, when would you be able to start?" :)

Goodness it's hard not to get my hopes up... :) I'm supposed to hear more early to mid next week...

Seether

2006-05-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

I purchased their "second" album last night on a shopping trip. It's called "Disclaimer II". It's pretty good if you are in the mood for dark, slightly depressing lyrics backed by some monstrous guitar riffs...it has both versions of "Broken" on it. The original with just Seether doing it, and then the revamped version with Amy Lee (Evanescence). It's tough to say which is better, it's obvious which the public liked better (with Amy Lee was a smash hit, to say the least).

And their song "Gasoline" may be one of the darkest lyrically on the album, but it definitely has a certain sound that I really like...

Lord of War

2006-05-13T21:22:00.000-07:00

I watched this movie tonight. Here's my review:

This movie may possibly be the most depressing thing I have ever seen. I am disgusted, since this movie was based on actual events. If these actual events are portrayed even partially correctly in this movie, I am sickened by these events. I was horrified. Bile did rise. So overall, the movie probably did exactly what was intended. I wish that I had seen it with someone else, so that I could discuss it further.

What an interesting week

2006-05-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

Let's see here, what all happened this week?

1. I had my first phone interview for a new position. Probably not the best thing for somebody trying to sleep, since it sounds like an even better position than I originally thought. Basically, a fairly old company, has gone through it's ups and downs, and is coming out of a down period right now. They've been advertising for almost a year now, and have had (you guessed it) ONE reply that actually met their qualifications - yep, that would be ME! Sounds good on paper, but I've got to go and do a lot more digging to find out more about them (thank goodness for the world wide web). I'm trying not to be too excited...

2. I hit a snag in my projector project. Not a deal stopper, just a pain in the behind type of snag. Unless you've torn a LCD monitor apart, you wouldn't know what a FFC is, but when it isn't the right size (length mainly, then the extendor piece you ordered isn't the right width) it's a royal pain in the back side. I'm waiting on one that IS the right size after I emailed and discussed with a veteran of diy's from lumenlab.com.

3. Went out with the first guy out the door at my office (yep, like I said in a previous post, 3 possible leavings, me and two construction techs). He got a promotion inside our company and works for a different office (and a completely different boss - 25% RAISE in pay - holy toledo!). The other guy is threatening, and I don't think he'll get what he wants, so I expect him to be aimed for the door soon.

4. When we went out with the guy in 3. above, well, let's just say it was definitely a guys night out kind of thing. Beer and rauchous talk was the theme this evening. It felt good to let loose and just be a lot "basic" with the guys. I would definitely say this was not a professional discussion. Pretty relaxing to just let it all hang out and not sweat anything that might be said. I don't want to say I should do that every weekend, but I should definitely increase the frequency.

Administrative Assistant

2006-05-08T18:45:00.000-07:00

Since I've been complaining about my boss so much lately, I figured I'd give you one of the good parts of working where I work...

Our admin was late this morning. So rather than take the ration of sh*t she would normally take for this, she lead off with her excuse and showed some of the damage done.

She rides motorcycle, and she went riding this weekend. She wrecked. Pretty hard, too. Her bike's a mess, along with her right hand and back (she didn't show her back, we are a conservative engineering firm :) ) and her elbow. Looks like somebody took a baseball bat to her. And you could see from how she got up from her chair and walked around, her whole body was pretty sore.

But she's tough. Guess what she did after she laid her bike down? She got up, got over her "what just happened?" fuzz, fired the bike up and finished riding the ride she was on with her friends. 75 more miles on the bike AFTER the accident! How freaking cool is that?

I said to her, "You've got balls to get back on that bike after that, serious balls."

She said, "Yeah, probably turns some guys off."

I said, "Yeah, depends on the guy, though." :) (yep, she actually smiled at that one - she's on the rebound right now, so she takes the "pep-me-ups" even from geeks like me)

Oh, and for those of you that worry about my singleness, yes, I would love to date this woman. Not only is she tough (I truly respect that in any person), but she is stunning. However, due to one of my learned principles, I never date anyone I work with, especially one that either has power over me or I have power over (yes, my opinion is asked about her work performance, but no, I don't sign her review).

Now, if I were to find another job in this town or a nearby town...hmmm, maybe I could risk asking her out then (AC/DC's "Shot Down in Flames" starts in the background :) ). Unfortunately for me, her type is 6'+, 170#, athletic and "normal". I'm more like 5'-10", 190#, klutzy and a geek. Oh, well, such is life. Maybe around the next bend is my princess...could be that light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train, too. :)

Personal effects

2006-05-08T16:21:00.000-07:00

This is a bit of a grim post...just giving you fair warning.

At work today, I was out on the bridge project I worked on last year. The contractor had some final punch list items to finish up and then the job was officially finished (well, outside of some paperwork I have to do now).

It's on the Interstate system, and there is a lot of traffic and plenty of accidents (there were double digits in the few months I was there last summer). I've seen plenty of old accident sites, where the guard rail is all shiny and new with some obviously older guard rail right next to it. Never thought twice about it until today. I can't think about it, it is dangerous for me (I'm an emotional person).

I was walking up the road and looked and saw that there had been an accident right next to the spot where the contractor was working. It had all the tell-tale signs of a regular old smash up, probably pretty bad. Only one post was broken and one panel was fixed. This is a bad sign, this means that the vehicle just about T-boned the guard rail, not a glancing blow which takes out several posts and several beam guard pieces. This isn't what bothered me though.

This is what bothered me: I can tell you that it was a Chevrolet truck of some type. I can tell you that the passenger side of the vehicle was torn open somehow. I can tell you that a woman or (please let it be this, oh please let it be this) a woman's purse was in the passenger's side seat of the truck. I can tell all of this because of the other things that were laying there next to the destroyed guard rail. The owner's manual (usually in the glove compartment, to have it thrown clear of the vehicle means the vehicle's passenger side was torn asunder). Lip balm, lip stick, lip gloss , eyeliner pencils and a combination hair comb and pick were laying there in the grass on the side of the road. And if I remember right, my past girlfriend's have only carried their favorites of those items with them in their purse.

Usually the police pick this stuff up, as evidence in the crash. I'm expecting this crash happened in one of the snowstorms and the police couldn't see it in the snow.

I nearly vomited. I don't know why this stuff did this to me. I think it may have made it "real". A real person was hurt here, probably very badly, possibly worse than hurt.

I said a little prayer right there in my head, a little bit out loud. One of the worker's asked me what I said and I said "Nothin', just looking at this stuff here." He said, "Yeah, it must have been bad..."

Frugal Geekiness is back in full swing...

2006-05-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

Well, the title of the post says it all. I'm building my own projector.

Yep, you read that right, my own projector. But I'm using someone else's idea.

No, it will not be a spiffy little sexy little box that hangs from the ceiling. I don't care about how "sexy" my stuff is right at this point. I want to prove to myself that I can do it. I'm using this idea. Yes, I will actually own an overhead projector like from middle school, high school and college. I went and bought a 15" LCD monitor and have it torn apart and ready to go (I'll show pictures when I have it all together).

If I can get it all working, I am going to need to build a box to contain it. Reason: If you don't remember, those projectors can be really noisy with the fans blowing, etc. Also, I would like the final project to look more "finished" than an overhead projector with some electronics lying on top of the glass.

Okay, why am I even attempting this? You guessed it, cost. Bottom line, to get an XGA (1024x768 pixel) projector from a Compusa or Circuit City or Best Buy or whereever, you are looking at somewhere in the neighborhood of $1500 to $2500, on the low end. High end, well, let's just say there is no way I can go there. And LCD big screen TV's are still well out of my price range as well (maybe in 5 years or so). Total cost of my projector when it is built - ballpark figure is $350, XGA projector. I'm willing to risk it for that reward. Odds are, performance wise it will be in the lower end of performance. That's okay, but if I get a little better than that, great! Oh, one more note on cost - the little projectors that you buy in those box stores, the lamps go for several thousand hours, but cost several hundred dollars a piece. The cost for replacing the bulbs in the overhead projector? Somewhere about $30/bulb for somewhere in the range of 50-100 hours. Basically, over a long enough time line, these projectors will be equal cost wise. But over that same time line, I hope to upgrade once I am landed and in an actual house vs. apartment. Big screen LCD (or Plasma) is really the way to go for you home movie freaks like me.

Note to other guys who might think about attempting this: The gaf and waf are incredibly low with this thing (gaf = girlfriend acceptance factor, waf = wife acceptance factor). Only with a properly finished box will you have a chance! :) Me being single allows me the freedom to try this stuff without that little voice over my shoulder "How freaking big is that thing going to be? And you want to put it in MY living room? That is just ugly...I don't think so!"

One final note on cost: I am not including the cost of buying the screen for viewing. Reason: the only option that I have that does not require a projection screen is the big-screen LCD/Plasma and those are way out of my price range. So that part of the project is a wash. I am expecting somewhere in the $110 to $200 range for the size I will need (or I might try a DIY for that too :P).

good night, and good luck.

2006-05-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

I would like to rescind my comment about not liking George Clooney at this time.

And I hope that YSD's predictions for the 2006 elections come true. Not so much the Democrats gaining power. No, that part doesn't matter that much to me. The part about Rumsfeld and Cheney. And I wish that it was one of the Republican's in Washington that would step up and start the investigation. They have to realize that these two have abused powers as much as or probably even more than Bush has. Tear the worst evils down first, then go after the incompetent.

I will probably blather more about this tomorrow, but I am very tired and any argument I make here right now will make little or no sense and have holes the size of Mack trucks. Heck, any argument I make tomorrow will probably have the same huge hole, but at least I'll have a chance then. :)

"The Dilbert Principle"

2006-05-05T17:09:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, a comment from my friend C on my last post reminded me of this book. I find that it is a classic.

Actually, not the entire book, because, well, I really don't care about management styles as they rarely effect my work (no, really, they don't matter as long as I come up with my designs, everything is cool, even when I don't put the cover on my TPS report).

Nope, just chapter 14: Engineers, Scientists, Programmers and Other Odd People. Scott Adams insight into how we work is so amazingly accurate, I was actually stunned the first time I read it (after I wiped the tears away from my laughing so dang hard).

Example lifted from text (I call this the "socially skittish" part of my personality, he calls it as it is :)):

' "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:
Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation
Important social contacts
A feeling of connectedness with other humans'

Later in the same chapter:

' In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions:
Get it over with as soon as possible.
Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.
Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.'

Yep, guilty as charged. The truth only hurts if you let it, and I let this truth hurt by making my insides hurt from laughing so stinking hard. :)

One of my favorite comic strips...

2006-05-04T19:28:00.000-07:00

is being released in movie form this summer. I am hoping that it is not as bad as other comic to movie tries.

"Over the Hedge" is the name of the comic strip. You can see more of it over here.

The one above is the first one I ever read (click on it to see the full sized one, it doesn't re-scale well). It was sent to me by D a long time ago. It's almost exactly how D and I would act when we went out to the bars. I instantly connected with the characters (in that one, think of me as Verne, D as RJ :)).

I see a lot of me in Verne (the turtle), but I also see myself in RJ (the racoon), and I definitely see Sammy (squirrel - I originally posted this as "Hammy", but that's Sammy's mirror image :) ) on those days when my brain has left the building.

And that's the other cool part about this comic strip, I see all of my friends in those characters as well. When I get the strip in my email everyday, I kind of get to see all my buds all compressed into one little comic strip every morning. A good way to start the day if I ever heard of one.

Hey, I know it's weird, they don't call me "geek" for nothing!

Western Wisconsin

2006-05-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, another day driving around WI looking at bridges...it is such a treat to get away from the stress in the office (mine is not the only "drama" unfolding at work, my boss may be down 3 people by mid-summer if we all get lucky in our searches).

And having to drive through that wonderful bit of WI known as "God's Country". Yes, yes, I know it was incredibly arrogant of the Old Style/Heileman's crew to call it that, but up amongst the coulees and ridges and bluffs and trees and farmland it is just wonderful.

I do believe that I may think about retiring here when the time comes.

ABC Meme

2006-05-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, you all win... :)

Accent: Nasal Wiscaahnsin/Yooper, eh?

Booze: Usually only in Vegas, Absolut Vodka, Canadian Club Manhattan, and pretty much any beer out there will find a happy home with me.

Chore I hate: Cleaning the BATHROOM! One word - YUCK!

Dog or Cat: I have to say neither, even though I like both. Dogs - well, they require TOO much attention. Cats, well they are cool, but I sneeze and get the runny nose and itchy eye thing with them.

Essential Electronics: You mean I can only name one? :) Definitely desktop computer...

Favorite Cologne: No. See my reaction to cats above.

Gold or silver: Stainless Steel - oh, I have to pick one of those two only? Gold...but I still say that a "precious" metal is only as good as it's uses...and what's better than being one of the main metals used in food production? There's a lot of hungry people out there, eh?

Hometown: Madtown

Insomnia: That's where you can't sleep for a few days or longer, right? On occasion, usually when things get really stressful at work or in the personal life...hmmm, read previous posts, think there might be some right now? :
Job Title: Project Civil Engineer

Kids: No - I think I would actually have to start dating again...not so much when you read the next line...

Living Arrangements: Not by my choice (suggested by my boss due to promises he made and failed to keep), living in my parent's basement...yeah, lots of women love that, don't you know.

Most Admirable Trait: Ability to focus, focus, focus...

Number of States lived in: 4 - Minnesota, Wisconsin, Indiana, and North Carolina (NC was a short term, but my permanent address was there) Can I count Illinois, since I traveled through so many times over the last 5 years?

Overnight hospital stays: 1-appendix removal at 7 years old

Phobias: Haven't encountered much that scares me that much yet. I don't like things, but not debilitating.

Quote: Too many goofy comments made to suggest just one here, oh, okay "You are that dumb."

Religon: Nope...closest would be Christian, but most of the organized Christian denominations have let me down in some way or another...typically, it has to do with a political statement that they are trying to make. I need the spirituality and meditation/prayer, not whether something should be legal or not. Leave the politics outside the door and pick them up on the way out. I will listen to you out there. In the church, though, it's my quiet spiritual time (and yes, I am selfish about it...) Problem is, I know something is missing, but I can't find it when I'm not looking for it...maybe I'm not ready yet? :/

Siblings: 1 step brother (1 sister out law), 2 step sisters (1 brother in law)

Time I wake up: 5:30 ish (snooze at 5:15, then again at 5:24, then get up).

Unusual talent or skill: Hmmm, I really don't think so.

Vegetable I Love: Fresh Asparagus, cut into 1 inch pieces, heated lightly in olive oil and lightly seasoned with salt and pepper...specific enough for you? We have an asparagus patch out in the garden that we raid every couple of nights. YUM!

Worst habit: No doubt, procrastination or just flat out being late...but then my goal is to be late to my own funeral. :)

X-Rays: Teeth, broken wrist, CAT Scan of my liver and pancreas during a small cancer scare a couple of years ago (I got lucky, nothing found, just odd blood tests for a while), shoulder and knee after intramural sports injuries at school.

Yummy foods I make: Well, I'm not too good a cook, but I can make a mean bowl of buttered noodles! :) Yep, I can BOIL WATER! :) That and the asparagus above, really tough to make, I tell ya!

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Roman Polanski

2006-04-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

I just found out that Roman Polanski is the director of one of my favorite films, "The Ninth Gate". I normally don't pay attention to the credits (unless I am in a movie with R, one of my best friends from high school :) he makes sure I see every last one.).

It is one of my favorite films because, well, I like movies where the bad guy is either the Devil himself, or someone who really, really, really wants to meet the Devil. Not some "demon", but the Devil, Lucifer. Lucifer has always been an intriguing entity to me, not really sure why.

This disturbs me, that one of my favorite films is made by a convicted statutory rapist.

You've got to be kidding, right?

2006-04-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, I think everyone who knows me well, knows that I am pretty darn tight with my money. I believe I said painfully frugal in an earlier post.

My boss and company have outdone me. Here is the email from our adminstrative assistant (names have been removed to protect the guilty):

Hello all!

We have come up with an idea for the Summer Picnic. A Brewers game. The tentative date is September 21 against the San Francisco Giants. Select BP and Amoco gas stations are having a promotion that for every 8 gallons of gas per vehicle per day you get a stamp on the “C’mon Back Club” card. After every 5 stamps you can turn the card in for one free Terrace Level ticket at Miller Park. So we are going to try this. So I’m asking you to try to fill up as much as you can at a BP or Amoco gas station. Below (sorted by city) is a list of participating gas stations. Construction people please use this as a guide when out in the field. Any questions or something doesn’t make sense please let me know. Thanks. You can also check the website www.cmonbackclub.com .

I was left flabbergasted. This is so incredibly cheesy, I just don't know what to say. I started laughing, really hard, the second I read it. It's wrong on so many levels...1. Not everyone wants to spend time at a baseball game (I am already on the "NO" list). 2. What, the company made a couple million in profit last year, so we can't afford $600 in baseball tickets... 3. Why should I buy gasoline for my personal vehicle at an out of the way station? 4. Why go to a baseball game, where, in my experience, you don't talk that much with the people around you? 5. Why change the party from last year's idea? (a picnic where you all bring food yourself, and you actually TALK to the people you work with outside of work)

I just don't get it...

Electrocuted...

2006-04-26T16:23:00.000-07:00

I'm just asking this for everybody out there: When you go somewhere (anywhere, really), do you get a little shock everytime you touch something metallic?

Because I do, and sometimes they are nasty enough to really hurt pretty bad. One of the guys I work with was laughing at me this morning because he can tell when I get into work by the "zzzap/crack" followed by "OW! Dang it, that smarts!" It's part of why I am slowly quitting playing slot machines, because I get a little blast pretty much everytime I touch one.

I don't know what it is, but my guess is my body hair building up static electricity (I know this is probably a visual you don't want, but I'm a pretty hairy guy). Any hints out there? Oh, and yes I do use softener in my laundry/dryer.

Is it bad...

2006-04-26T15:26:00.000-07:00

that I nearly punched my boss at lunch today?

Long story short, he is the person who suggested I move in with my parents, because "if the NE WI office is open, we'll put you there, otherwise we'll put you in the SE WI office until the NE WI office is open and ready to go. No matter what, that'll be 6-8 months from now."

I said "Sure, that's about as long as I can last living with my parents, or that they can last living with me! :)" (which is true, Mom and I have had some unpleasant moments, starting about the 6 month mark)

Well, we're at the 13 month mark now, and I was getting some sh*t from one of my co-workers about living at home with the 'rents. And my boss piped in with my co-workers.

IT TOOK EVERYTHING I HAD NOT TO KNOCK HIS TEETH INTO HIS THROAT!

I told him I wanted to move to the SE WI office in November of last year (the 8 month mark). He said to keep waiting, that he wouldn't move me down there. AND NOW HE WONDERS WHY I'M GETTING FRUSTRATED!?!?!?!?

Can anybody tell me, how the f*ck long am I supposed to wait on this pr*ck to make up his f*cking mind? How long would YOU have waited? They didn't give me that much of a raise to move up here...GOD D*MN IT, I HATE IT WHEN I MISREAD SOMEONE COMPLETELY!!! I'm usually not THIS bad at it.

My poor supervisor, he didn't go to lunch with us today, he was doing employee evaluations elsewhere. Then he came back after lunch, and had to deal with a very riled up zeke70. I feel kind of bad, because he is actually a good guy (not a good leader, but a good guy...uggg, I've been mismanaged from the start).

Well, I guess my search is on with even more urgency now...my dad almost had me convinced to keep working at it really hard. I'll give them everything I have, but I am doing my dangdest to get out of there before I lose my job and end up in jail for a night (or more).

This is the truth, believe me when I say it, I used to be very violent, but now I have calmed that part of me down very well. That part of me came back today and scared the h*ll out of me...no job is worth this...:(

SW Wisconsin

2006-04-25T20:23:00.000-07:00

I had to drive around SW Wisconsin all day today. Looking at some old bridges. I love this part of my profession, getting to go out and check things out in the "real" world, where the rubber hits the road as it were. It's fun to make paper drawings, but it's really cool to be able to go physically touch the idea you had...

If I had my dithers, this part of the country is one where I'd want to live and work. Amongst the bluffs and ridges and rivers and creeks is definitely my style. Lots of places to just disappear...

Too bad it's also one of the most economically depressed parts of the state, so there isn't much demand for workers, of any profession. It took severe beatings in the recession of '81 and the recession of '91 and has never recovered. The farm foreclosures of the mid-'80's did not help, either.

Las Vegas, part drei (final installment)

2006-04-24T18:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, now I have to do some more history.

The latest installment of American Idol started sometime in the last couple of months, right? Well, I was at work the day after the final 12 were chosen (I think that was the time frame, I don't know, I don't watch the show), and I get this comment from one of the women I work with "There is a guy on American Idol that looks like you." Please note people, if you are trying to compliment someone on their similar looks to anyone else, this is the way you phrase it, not "You look just like so and so..."(note: I am a self-centered prick, too :) as if you couldn't tell!). And while I like this woman as a co-worker, um, let's just say that I am pretty shallow when it comes to looks. So this comment gave me the shivers a bit (actually, office rumor mill has it that she has a thing for me and well, that just makes it all the more shiverfull - icky :-().

Unfortunately, I still do not have a clue as to who she was talking about. Tim or Taylor or Tim Taylor or some such name, I don't know, I don't spend my time watching said show (not my thing). Probably just the gray/silver hair (that's what someone else told me), and that's fine, I can live with that (if I couldn't, I would color).

So, onto Vegas. See my last post. I am sitting at the SAME FREAKING table that I was at in the last post. The three women who came and sat down have just left and been replaced by 5 completely OBNOXIOUS women. Standing up, shouting and squealing in voices above human hearing, but every dog in Nevada started whimpering, and well, I'm a dog :). These five women had me thinking that it's time to get up and walk away. And I was on a hot streak, up over a hundy on $5 bets. But then the following comment sealed it; from the older woman to my right - "You look just like Tim (or Taylor or whatever) on American Idol!! SQUEALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!"

I got up and left very shortly thereafter thinking "I do believe I'm not liking this character from American Idol very much."

And if you think I've watched my last American Idol show, you are right. Oh, wait, I've never watched my FIRST American Idol show.

Las Vegas, part deux

2006-04-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was out with some friends (down at one of my very oldest favorite hangouts - hasn't changed a bit in 13 years, except for the bartender).

I was telling the story of the first phone call I ever got from my friend's new fiancee after she had seen my picture. Here's kind of how the conversation went (I don't remember word for word, but this is close).

Me: (not recognizing the phone number, in a slightly grumpy tone) "Hello?"

Friend's Fiancee (FF): "You are so hot, you look just like George Clooney!"

Me: (my "who the h*ll is this?" tone) "What?"

FF: "You look like George Clooney and I'm going to marry YOU out in Las Vegas!"

Me: (okay, it's her, WTF did she just say?) "What?"

FF: "You are so hot, I am imagining threesomes out there."

Me: (WTF did she just say? Laughingly...) "What?"

FF: " I just wanted to tell you that."

Me: (WTF is this?) "Oh, okay..."

Phone call ended.

Now, normally, I would consider the comment about George Clooney a compliment. However, in the context above, it just made me REALLY uncomfortable. I DON'T mess at all with my best friends girl friends and/or wives, mostly because (forgive me, all you wives and girlfriends of my best friends and all of the other women I have met) I haven't met a woman yet that was worth the friendships these 5 men have given me in my lifetime.

So there I am, feeling kind of weird and uncomfortable about all of this. I'm sitting at the blackjack tables in Vegas, trying to get away from those two for a bit. Three women come down and sit around me at the table - one somewhat attractive a few years younger, one attractive looking about my age, and one other that was a good 10 years younger (attractive except for the fact that she was blind, stinking, stumbling, damn near drooling drunk - not a good look for anyone). Not a bad thing for a single man sitting at a blackjack table, so I smiled and said "Hello". Response from woman my age "You look just like George Clooney."

Now imagine Michael Bolton from the movie "Office Space". I'm beginning to not like George Clooney very much...

What soda am I?

2006-04-22T23:27:00.000-07:00

I usually avoid these quizzes, mostly because I think they are a bit silly. Now, after answering a couple of questions, I would say because I am boring and tasteless, kind of like 7-UP :).

Now I would agree, favorite soda is Diet Coke. And while I do like Mountain Dew, it's a bit too harsh on my nerve endings for me to go for on a regular basis.

You Are 7 Up

Understated and subtle, people warm up to you slowly.
But once they're hooked, they can't imagine going back to anyone else!

Your best soda match: Diet Coke

Stay away from: Mountain Dew

What Kind of Soda Are You?

Finishing school

2006-04-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

I know this is probably a bit early, but...

I am sitting here thinking about what a bunch of you are doing right now, at this moment. You are finishing graduate/law school. And I'm trying to remember what it felt like...and I want to remind you all of something that is very important: Remember these days and these feelings, they are precious. I have a feeling you will all do well with this, since you are much more in touch with your feelings than I am with mine. And I remember my feelings as the end of school approached something like this:

1. Absolute joy - You mean I don't have to go to class anymore? SWEEET!

2. Absolute fear - You mean that I'm going to have to find a JOB? And earn my money without having a professor across the hall to ask questions of when it gets tough? (This one was particularly worrisome for me, I graduated in Dec. '01, right after 9/11 and right at the start of the big recession)

3. Self respect - I have accomplished something that very few people have done (really, ask around outside of your circles, very few people have an advanced degree in anything)

4. Dread (for someone socially skittish like me) - You mean I'm going to have to make new friends? Again? My goodness, that's pretty tough...I'm just guessing, but you probably won't have as much trouble with this one :).

5. Paychecks are coming - They're going to pay me for doing this? But this stuff is FUN!!! Cooool! (look of complete astonishment) They're going to pay me HOW MUCH for doing this fun stuff?

6. Freedom - This is the last one that I really remember, but it's also the most difficult to describe...Yep, I've tried about 5 descriptions here, and none of them really cover it. I think you all know what I mean, sorry none of my words seem to work. Almost (but not quite) like being re-born, awakened...see? nothing of mine quite fits...grrrrr. (one of you - help me out, eh? I need some more VO-CAB-YOU-LARRY! ;) Good thing I'm an engineer, not a word-smith! :))

*EDIT*

I think I might have #6, so I'll spill it out here and see what you think.

6. Liberation(probably not the perfect word here, but...) - You now are recognized by other people that you have the necessary base knowledge to participate in your chosen field. You have the base knowledge of what to do when life pitches lemons at you (make lemonade is the standard answer, but what flavor? and "how" exactly? sugar or some other juice for sweetener? now you get to be tricky about it. :)). It grants you freedom of autonomy; you'll be applying said knowledge to practical/real problems, without the hands-on guidance from a professor. It's real now, live without a net. Exhilarating, isn't it? :)

*End of EDIT*

While there are a couple of "bads" listed above, the "goods" far outweigh them. It is a joyous time for you all.

Do your happy dances, smile, party, enjoy the moment.

Congratulations!

Looking for a job

2006-04-20T20:03:00.000-07:00

You know, when I finished with my first degree way back in the day, finding a job was a lot harder. You went to the job placement office and got a boatload of places that were looking to hire (no specifics, they just wanted someone with a BS/BA in such and such). Then you sent them a resume and a cover letter, trying to "personalize" a basically boiler-plated piece of paper. And if you were a poor student like me (I found that drinking and partying were worth more than reading and studying the first time around), you then got to wallpaper your room with the rejection letters, without even getting an interview.

Now (2 degrees, tons of technology and a few years wiser ;)), I go to specific companies web sites, click on their "careers" (or something similarly difficult to understand, like "job openings" :-p), and find out what they have for openings and so on. You don't have to waste time, paper and energy to send a resume to someone who has zero use for a widget maker (too bad, I'm a really good widget maker :)).

And holy Toledo, are there job openings...I did a bunch of quick "peeks" (went to the website to see, without fully reading every little detail). WOW!!! There are several companies right nearby that are looking for people like me, very cool! Plus, some of the really big companies are looking for people like me all over the country. Dad made a couple of calls and found out one company that I am very interested in working for has an opening (I confirmed online tonight) in Ewwwww Clair near the Twin Cities.

Looks like I have a bunch of resumes to work up this weekend, and online applications to fill out on Saturday during the day...I hope I get to hang with a few very good friends that night.

So it seems there is good reason to hope, so please keep those fingers crossed for me! :) Thanks for the thoughts, prayers, candle lightings, however you are helping me out, it's greatly appreciated. :)

Resume

2006-04-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I finished up my basic resume and cover letter (leaving room for specific adjustments for specific companies) .

It's kind of sad, this job started with tremendous hope and promise, and now I just don't feel I can trust my boss anymore. The second that happens, I know it's time to move on. Because if I don't, I can expect him to screw me over again. Life is too darn short to deal with that.

Between my internet searches and my dad's connections, I should be able to find other work in short order (I hope, crossing my fingers! Please cross your's for me, too! :)).

Lasers...

2006-04-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

I can't help but think of the movie "Real Genius" when I read this. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but does anybody else think that the US military having a weapon like this is a very bad idea?

Grandma

2006-04-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

I went to see Grandma yesterday with my parents and all of the brothers and sisters. It was a very emotionally draining day. You can tell that she isn't all there anymore, but she still has some life left. She was all smiles (she has always loved being the center of attention, but only once in awhile :)).

She called me John. I was flattered. John is one of my uncles. I have met very few, if any, who are kinder and gentler than he is. I know I don't have his personality (well, some of it I do), but I'm happy to share some of his likeness. And I'm happy to remind her of him.

She was having a grand time. She doesn't walk very well anymore (only with a walker, and then barely), so she was in a wheelchair. Well, remember having a little kid in a walking trainer? The things with the bumpers and wheels so they can work their little legs in preparation for walking? Grandma was using that wheelchair purely with her calves and feet. And man could she motor! :) My mom had her feet run over several times because she wasn't moving fast enough. :)

From what I understand though, it's not looking real good. But I'm glad to see there are good moments like yesterday still around. I hope that she doesn't follow Grandpa's path (Alzheimer's). I don't know if Mom could take it again, and I worry about her.

The nurses seemed pretty cool, and one of the nurses is one of Grandma's old neighbors grandkids (I think that makes sense), so there is at least one familiar face nearby more often than we can see her.

One of my uncles has power of attorney. He is having a pretty hard go of it from what I saw of him yesterday. He looked absolutely whipped and beat down, like there was a world on his shoulders.

I can't remember a time where I felt so tired after visiting someone, though. It was a tremendously happy day, yet incredibly draining. Emotionally, physically and mentally, I was wiped out. I think it's partly that stress that most people feel (yet do their dangdest to hide) when they are facing their own mortality. My Grandma is in a home, and well, those places are hard for me. I don't like her being in there, but I also know that I couldn't take care of her anywhere near as well as those folks are taking care of her. Thank goodness for the kind (and patient) nurses and workers and doctors who work at that home, and other homes like it.

Grandma's circle of life is nearing completion. I am thankful that she has been and still is in my life and has given me such good things to remember her by when her time here is done.

First time in about 3 years...

2006-04-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I freaking did this to myself, but I know how to get out of it. Spend less for the next few weeks.

For the first time in about 3 years (since my last MAJOR truck repair), I have spent more money in a period of less than 1 week than I will receive in my next paycheck. This is not because my paychecks are particularly large, definitely not a true statement. This is because I am typically very (read "painfully") frugal.

I splurged on my computer stuff (I got another hard drive and a second TV tuner for my MythTV setup, and I bought UPS units for my machines, something I should have had a long time ago...), combined with my truck repair (final tally of $850+) and ouch, there it is. Good thing my 'rents are driving this weekend to see Grandma, otherwise I'd be sitting on the couch all weekend (I wouldn't even be able to allow myself a poker game if I wasn't going to see Grandma).

I have the confidence in my spending habits that I'll be back by my paycheck after next and back to my saving ways, but this is disconcerting!

On the good side, it will let me get caught up on resume writing (and sending out) and a whole pile of cleaning and organizing I've been putting off for months...oh, the joy! :)

Anybody know of a good book on organizing? I've found that my self-help books on fitness (Bill Phillips "Body-for-Life") and financial tips (Dave Ramsey "Total Money Makeover") have been a great help in those areas of my life, maybe I can learn something from another good self-help book. If you don't like something about your life, change your life, right?

MythTV setup

2006-04-08T20:01:00.000-07:00

Finally, I have it working. It is recording as I write this.

Question for those Tivo users out there: how many shows can you record at one time, and can you watch "live TV" while you are recording a show? In other words, how many inputs can you deal with on the Tivo?

I have one, and it, well kind of sucks. I'd like to be able to watch one show/record another or maybe even record at least two shows at one time. I can do that, but I'd kind of like to know what the Tivo can do, maybe get close to those capabilities.

I know I'll need another hard drive, but I want an idea of number of tuners.

Boston College Coach

2006-04-08T18:42:00.000-07:00

He finished it off with one of the classiest moves of all sports - he made his team do what they do after every, they salute their fans...even after a big loss to my Badgers.

Without the fans, there is no "big" game to play in (without the fans, who cares who wins?), so thanks coach Jerry York for remembering us all out here.

How 'bout dem BADGERS!!!!!

2006-04-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

Division I Women's Hockey Champions and

Division I Men's Hockey Champions!

Go BADGERS!!!!

Clear Blue Betty

2006-04-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

I just saw this band on UPN local access tonight. I liked it, I'm sure they are like any rock band, not what people would call talented in the classical sense, but their sound seems pure to me.

Her voice reminded me of something, but I can't put my finger on it. Almost like I've heard her before, but I don't recognize her name at all.
It's odd because I typically do not like women singers. I can count on one hand (or less) the number of female singers that I actually like in my musical tastes...The Donnas (I know, technically a band), Suzanne Vega, Amy Lee (Evanescence), Joan Jett, I think that's about it.

Mother Fuuuuuuuuuuu.........

2006-04-07T20:55:00.000-07:00

I got my MythTV system working.

Then I rebooted and learned/remembered why I build my own systems and don't buy Dell's/Gateway's etc. F-ing Dell has it so hard coded into the BIOS what hard drive should be booting that I have to start all over.

Well, at least I got it working once, means I can get it working again, right? :)