Grandma

I went to see Grandma yesterday with my parents and all of the brothers and sisters. It was a very emotionally draining day. You can tell that she isn't all there anymore, but she still has some life left. She was all smiles (she has always loved being the center of attention, but only once in awhile :)).

She called me John. I was flattered. John is one of my uncles. I have met very few, if any, who are kinder and gentler than he is. I know I don't have his personality (well, some of it I do), but I'm happy to share some of his likeness. And I'm happy to remind her of him.

She was having a grand time. She doesn't walk very well anymore (only with a walker, and then barely), so she was in a wheelchair. Well, remember having a little kid in a walking trainer? The things with the bumpers and wheels so they can work their little legs in preparation for walking? Grandma was using that wheelchair purely with her calves and feet. And man could she motor! :) My mom had her feet run over several times because she wasn't moving fast enough. :)

From what I understand though, it's not looking real good. But I'm glad to see there are good moments like yesterday still around. I hope that she doesn't follow Grandpa's path (Alzheimer's). I don't know if Mom could take it again, and I worry about her.

The nurses seemed pretty cool, and one of the nurses is one of Grandma's old neighbors grandkids (I think that makes sense), so there is at least one familiar face nearby more often than we can see her.

One of my uncles has power of attorney. He is having a pretty hard go of it from what I saw of him yesterday. He looked absolutely whipped and beat down, like there was a world on his shoulders.

I can't remember a time where I felt so tired after visiting someone, though. It was a tremendously happy day, yet incredibly draining. Emotionally, physically and mentally, I was wiped out. I think it's partly that stress that most people feel (yet do their dangdest to hide) when they are facing their own mortality. My Grandma is in a home, and well, those places are hard for me. I don't like her being in there, but I also know that I couldn't take care of her anywhere near as well as those folks are taking care of her. Thank goodness for the kind (and patient) nurses and workers and doctors who work at that home, and other homes like it.

Grandma's circle of life is nearing completion. I am thankful that she has been and still is in my life and has given me such good things to remember her by when her time here is done.